1 00:00:15,321 --> 00:00:17,761 - I'm going to work in Woolworths. 2 00:00:17,761 --> 00:00:20,521 - When I grow up I want to be an astronaut. 3 00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,841 - When I get married I'd like to have 2 children. 4 00:00:22,841 --> 00:00:25,801 - My hearts desire is to see my Daddy. 5 00:00:26,841 --> 00:00:29,241 - I don't want to answer that. 6 00:00:32,761 --> 00:00:34,961 - This is no ordinary outing at the zoo, 7 00:00:34,961 --> 00:00:36,681 it's a very special occasion. 8 00:00:36,681 --> 00:00:38,281 We've brought these children together for the 9 00:00:38,281 --> 00:00:41,401 very first time. 10 00:00:41,401 --> 00:00:43,481 They're like any other children except 11 00:00:43,481 --> 00:00:46,401 that they come from startlingly different backgrounds. 12 00:00:47,401 --> 00:00:49,441 - Stop it at once. 13 00:00:49,441 --> 00:00:50,681 - We've brought these children together 14 00:00:50,681 --> 00:00:55,681 because we wanted a glimpse of England in the year 2000. 15 00:00:55,721 --> 00:00:57,161 The shop steward and the executive 16 00:00:57,161 --> 00:01:00,961 of the year 2000 are now 7 years old. 17 00:01:03,561 --> 00:01:07,081 - In 1964 WORLD IN ACTION made 7 Up. 18 00:01:07,081 --> 00:01:10,521 We have been back to film these children every 7 years. 19 00:01:10,521 --> 00:01:12,161 They are now 35. 20 00:01:13,641 --> 00:01:15,361 - Give me a child until he is 7 21 00:01:15,361 --> 00:01:16,841 and I will give you the man. 22 00:01:21,641 --> 00:01:24,961 - Is it important to fight, yes. 23 00:01:34,321 --> 00:01:35,681 I want to be a jockey when I grow up, 24 00:01:35,681 --> 00:01:37,241 yeah I want to be a jockey when I grow up. 25 00:01:39,521 --> 00:01:42,241 - At 14 Tony was already an apprentice 26 00:01:42,241 --> 00:01:44,641 at Tommy Gosling's racing stables in Epsom. 27 00:01:45,601 --> 00:01:46,641 He left school at 15. 28 00:01:55,001 --> 00:01:57,761 - This is a photo finish of when I rode at Newbury. 29 00:01:57,761 --> 00:01:59,201 I'm the one with the white cap. 30 00:01:59,201 --> 00:02:01,281 I was beaten a length and a half a third 31 00:02:01,281 --> 00:02:03,401 and had a photo finish. 32 00:02:03,401 --> 00:02:06,361 So I took it out of the box and kept it as a souvenir. 33 00:02:06,361 --> 00:02:11,361 My greatest fulfilment in life, when I rode at Kempton 34 00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:13,881 in the same race as Lester Piggott. 35 00:02:13,881 --> 00:02:16,521 I was a naive wet behind the ears apprentice. 36 00:02:18,361 --> 00:02:20,761 All my years from 7, all my ambitions fulfilled 37 00:02:20,761 --> 00:02:25,761 in one moment and I eventually finished last. 38 00:02:25,801 --> 00:02:27,201 Tailed off obviously but it 39 00:02:27,201 --> 00:02:29,401 didn't make any difference to me. 40 00:02:29,401 --> 00:02:32,441 Just to be part of it, be with the man himself. 41 00:02:33,921 --> 00:02:37,401 Couldn't buy it, that was the proudest day of my whole life. 42 00:02:47,561 --> 00:02:48,921 - Tony's now 34. 43 00:02:49,801 --> 00:02:52,081 At weekends he takes his girls to a stables 44 00:02:52,081 --> 00:02:54,161 where the family keeps a couple of ponies. 45 00:03:00,521 --> 00:03:03,441 What's it mean to you when you see the girls on a horse? 46 00:03:03,441 --> 00:03:05,881 - There are times you look back and you look at them 47 00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:08,201 and you see yourself in them all the time. 48 00:03:08,201 --> 00:03:09,481 Wait come here. 49 00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:10,601 - Got down first didn't I. 50 00:03:10,601 --> 00:03:11,921 - Yeah. 51 00:03:11,921 --> 00:03:12,721 When I was a kid right, 52 00:03:12,721 --> 00:03:15,401 no one ever ever showed me how to ride a horse. 53 00:03:15,401 --> 00:03:16,641 I had to go out and do it myself. 54 00:03:17,721 --> 00:03:21,801 Just walk him, hold them legs nice and properly. 55 00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:23,441 When I see them riding I sort of like 56 00:03:23,441 --> 00:03:24,601 "Oh I taught them that" 57 00:03:25,521 --> 00:03:27,841 and I see them doing this and I show them in another way. 58 00:03:28,681 --> 00:03:29,801 Then once they learn it I sort of like pat 59 00:03:29,801 --> 00:03:31,121 them on their bum 60 00:03:31,121 --> 00:03:33,161 sort of put them on automatic pilot you know 61 00:03:33,161 --> 00:03:34,801 and they're on their own. 62 00:03:34,801 --> 00:03:35,961 But that's what life's all about isn't it? 63 00:03:35,961 --> 00:03:38,001 Giving your kids all the opportunities 64 00:03:38,001 --> 00:03:40,361 that give them the benefits that you never had. 65 00:03:41,281 --> 00:03:43,481 Don't be afraid, never be afraid, they know. 66 00:03:44,481 --> 00:03:47,921 Horses were my whole life, flesh, blood, in my veins, 67 00:03:47,921 --> 00:03:50,401 it was you know all the smell everything. 68 00:03:51,361 --> 00:03:53,481 Princess Anne to her horses and Lester Piggott 69 00:03:53,481 --> 00:03:56,001 to his that's how I felt. 70 00:03:56,001 --> 00:03:57,441 - And you let it go? 71 00:03:57,441 --> 00:03:58,281 - I let it go. 72 00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:02,641 - Sometimes on Saturday morning I go to the pictures. 73 00:04:02,641 --> 00:04:06,001 Sometimes with my friend and sometimes with him. 74 00:04:06,921 --> 00:04:08,081 - You don't. 75 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,561 - I do. 76 00:04:09,561 --> 00:04:12,481 - She don't, I don't ever see you. 77 00:04:15,841 --> 00:04:18,001 You go to a different pictures. 78 00:04:18,001 --> 00:04:19,241 - Have you got a girlfriend? 79 00:04:19,241 --> 00:04:20,321 - No. 80 00:04:20,321 --> 00:04:22,881 - Would you like to have a girlfriend? 81 00:04:22,881 --> 00:04:24,081 - No. 82 00:04:24,081 --> 00:04:26,961 You understand the Four F's, Find them, 83 00:04:26,961 --> 00:04:28,121 Feed them and Forget them. 84 00:04:28,121 --> 00:04:31,121 The other F I'll let you use your own discrimination. 85 00:04:31,121 --> 00:04:35,801 I mean, this one, I tried to do the Three Fs 86 00:04:35,801 --> 00:04:37,641 but I couldn't forget her. 87 00:04:37,641 --> 00:04:41,961 - I used to work in a pub just on a Friday night. 88 00:04:41,961 --> 00:04:46,801 Barmaids, barmaiding and from there one night 89 00:04:46,801 --> 00:04:48,641 I went to a discotheque. 90 00:04:49,601 --> 00:04:51,801 He was in the pub earlier on 91 00:04:51,801 --> 00:04:54,081 and that afterwards we went to a discotheque 92 00:04:54,081 --> 00:04:56,801 and Tony was down there and I just, 93 00:04:56,801 --> 00:04:59,081 from there I just that was it. 94 00:05:01,881 --> 00:05:03,081 Couldn't get rid of him. 95 00:05:05,561 --> 00:05:09,201 - We have our ups and downs, no more than anyone else. 96 00:05:09,201 --> 00:05:12,241 - I think you got to work at a marriage. 97 00:05:12,241 --> 00:05:15,241 I think all marriages go through stages, 98 00:05:15,241 --> 00:05:18,401 you can't stand each other, you go through, 99 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:20,841 I think, oh God, I hate him I wish he'd get out. 100 00:05:22,001 --> 00:05:25,001 I do and I'm sure he does about me. 101 00:05:25,001 --> 00:05:29,641 - I been in positions you know and it's hard to say 102 00:05:29,641 --> 00:05:32,681 in front of Debbie but it's true, it's tempting, 103 00:05:32,681 --> 00:05:34,281 you take the bait. 104 00:05:34,281 --> 00:05:36,521 You know I go on holiday once a year with the boys type 105 00:05:36,521 --> 00:05:39,601 of thing to Spain, Magaluf and we have a golf holiday. 106 00:05:39,601 --> 00:05:42,961 All against Debbie's will but it's true, 107 00:05:43,841 --> 00:05:46,721 I get in situations out there that you, 108 00:05:48,041 --> 00:05:49,601 life is for the living. 109 00:05:49,601 --> 00:05:52,881 And I come back, "Oh I know what you've been doing out 110 00:05:52,881 --> 00:05:54,601 "there, you've been meeting all them birds", 111 00:05:54,601 --> 00:05:59,601 and whatever and they look at you as if to say 112 00:05:59,721 --> 00:06:02,721 "I know, and I don't want to know". 113 00:06:02,721 --> 00:06:03,881 That's how it is. 114 00:06:03,881 --> 00:06:05,961 - Who's to say in another 10 years me 115 00:06:05,961 --> 00:06:07,521 and him might have split up? 116 00:06:07,521 --> 00:06:08,361 - Quite possible. 117 00:06:09,401 --> 00:06:11,561 - You know, you don't know. 118 00:06:11,561 --> 00:06:12,401 - If you were to break up 119 00:06:12,401 --> 00:06:13,761 what do you think it would be over? 120 00:06:15,201 --> 00:06:18,001 - Yeah, I think it's be the other party. 121 00:06:18,001 --> 00:06:20,401 It wouldn't be for the kids cause the kids they're 122 00:06:20,401 --> 00:06:23,841 everything, without anything prior to that. 123 00:06:25,761 --> 00:06:29,441 Isn't it, I mean it'd break my heart. 124 00:06:29,441 --> 00:06:31,641 Knowing that another man could come in here 125 00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:33,161 and bring my kids up. 126 00:06:33,161 --> 00:06:35,601 There's only one ambition really, I want a baby son 127 00:06:35,601 --> 00:06:37,521 and if I see my baby son 128 00:06:37,521 --> 00:06:38,721 then I'll see my ambition fulfilled. 129 00:06:38,721 --> 00:06:40,761 No one knows that, only you now. 130 00:06:42,401 --> 00:06:44,681 - Tony and Debbie had a son, Nicky, 131 00:06:44,681 --> 00:06:46,561 who is now 13. 132 00:06:46,561 --> 00:06:48,961 They have 2 daughters, Jody and Perry 133 00:06:48,961 --> 00:06:50,641 and the family lives in North London. 134 00:06:50,641 --> 00:06:53,921 - Now listen, on Saturday Tottenham have got the Arsenal. 135 00:06:53,921 --> 00:06:57,201 - One, I was expecting on 28 UP wasn't I when you were 136 00:06:57,201 --> 00:07:01,001 filmed that but I lost that baby. 137 00:07:01,001 --> 00:07:03,521 I didn't feel that I could have any more. 138 00:07:03,521 --> 00:07:05,601 I really didn't want any more. 139 00:07:05,601 --> 00:07:07,881 But then anyway I did and I had Perry. 140 00:07:09,561 --> 00:07:11,881 They are naughty, very naughty. 141 00:07:11,881 --> 00:07:13,001 They're the naughtiest kids I know. 142 00:07:14,281 --> 00:07:19,121 Nicky's like me, he's more placid but Jody's like 143 00:07:19,121 --> 00:07:20,361 how he was when he was 7. 144 00:07:22,241 --> 00:07:24,641 I do discipline them, you know, I smack them, 145 00:07:24,641 --> 00:07:27,961 I put them in their rooms, I take things off of them. 146 00:07:27,961 --> 00:07:31,321 I do it, I discipline them and he undoes it 147 00:07:31,321 --> 00:07:35,561 so I'm fighting twice with them, it makes it harder for me 148 00:07:35,561 --> 00:07:38,641 because he's too soft with them. 149 00:07:38,641 --> 00:07:39,801 - Why do you think you're too soft with them? 150 00:07:39,801 --> 00:07:41,561 - Cause I love them so much. 151 00:07:43,201 --> 00:07:44,041 - Do you bring them up the way 152 00:07:44,041 --> 00:07:45,481 that you were brought up? 153 00:07:45,481 --> 00:07:47,361 - The upbringing I had I saw more dinner times 154 00:07:47,361 --> 00:07:49,721 than dinners without any questions 155 00:07:49,721 --> 00:07:53,001 and I did have my brothers clothes on my back for 156 00:07:53,001 --> 00:07:55,161 you know hand me downs. 157 00:07:55,161 --> 00:07:57,081 It's never done me no harm. 158 00:07:57,081 --> 00:07:59,041 - I wouldn't have got away with my parents 159 00:07:59,041 --> 00:08:00,321 what my kids get away with me. 160 00:08:00,321 --> 00:08:01,161 - Yeah but in saying that you do 161 00:08:01,161 --> 00:08:04,201 give them everything possible. 162 00:08:04,201 --> 00:08:06,081 All these designer clothes type of thing, 163 00:08:06,081 --> 00:08:10,281 the Naff gear and Reebok trainers now my Nicky 164 00:08:11,601 --> 00:08:16,601 plays football and she'll say "Oh Nicky wants some trainers 165 00:08:17,241 --> 00:08:18,361 "have you got £70"? 166 00:08:19,561 --> 00:08:22,521 and I'll say "What £70 for a pair of trainers, 167 00:08:22,521 --> 00:08:24,161 "hold on there's a stall around there, 168 00:08:24,161 --> 00:08:28,761 "same quality trainers for £24 or something". 169 00:08:28,761 --> 00:08:31,001 She'll go "£24, oh no" she'll say 170 00:08:31,961 --> 00:08:34,721 "He can't go to school wearing that rubbish". 171 00:08:34,721 --> 00:08:37,961 She'll give them everything, got an old bike, 172 00:08:37,961 --> 00:08:39,001 wants a chain putting on and a 173 00:08:39,001 --> 00:08:41,361 few nuts tightening or whatever. 174 00:08:41,361 --> 00:08:44,281 "Oh can't have that bike, get a new one" 175 00:08:44,281 --> 00:08:45,921 then in the next Christmas comes up. 176 00:08:45,921 --> 00:08:47,561 - Only cause you don't put the chain and bolts on. 177 00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:48,761 - Oh, I'm not having that one. 178 00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:49,721 - What will you do if you don't 179 00:08:49,721 --> 00:08:50,721 make it as a jockey? 180 00:08:51,841 --> 00:08:54,281 - I don't know, if I know I couldn't be one 181 00:08:54,281 --> 00:08:55,281 I'd get out of the game. 182 00:08:59,521 --> 00:09:01,881 - What do you think you would do then? 183 00:09:01,881 --> 00:09:03,361 - Learn taxis. 184 00:09:03,361 --> 00:09:06,281 - At 21 Tony was on the knowledge learning 185 00:09:06,281 --> 00:09:07,561 to be a London Cabbie. 186 00:09:08,761 --> 00:09:10,241 - If there's any person who thinks I can't be 187 00:09:10,241 --> 00:09:11,641 a Cabbie then they're wrong. 188 00:09:12,641 --> 00:09:13,681 I'm going to get that badge and I'm going 189 00:09:13,681 --> 00:09:15,321 to put it right in their face. 190 00:09:15,321 --> 00:09:17,761 Just to tell them how wrong they can be 191 00:09:17,761 --> 00:09:19,401 and how underestimated I am. 192 00:09:19,401 --> 00:09:21,561 - At 28 he had his own cab. 193 00:09:23,201 --> 00:09:24,601 - Surprising who you pick up you see. 194 00:09:25,641 --> 00:09:30,041 I once met Kojak I picked him up and Warren Mitchell, 195 00:09:30,921 --> 00:09:32,961 Alf Garnett you know. 196 00:09:32,961 --> 00:09:36,321 Debbie's working in the day so Debbie'll be 197 00:09:36,321 --> 00:09:39,401 on her way home by 4 o'clock, the kids'll be 198 00:09:39,401 --> 00:09:40,401 coming home for tea. 199 00:09:41,321 --> 00:09:43,081 Debbie'll stop the cab outside, 200 00:09:43,081 --> 00:09:44,761 come in and cook the dinner. 201 00:09:44,761 --> 00:09:48,361 Then I'll sit down with the kids till about 7 whatever, 202 00:09:49,241 --> 00:09:52,601 then I'll start the cab up because we work the same cab 203 00:09:53,481 --> 00:09:57,801 and I'll go to work till about 1 until it goes again. 204 00:09:58,721 --> 00:09:59,961 She's got a great mind. 205 00:09:59,961 --> 00:10:03,401 She does the knowledge which is less than 2 years. 206 00:10:03,401 --> 00:10:05,601 For a woman with 3 kids, the pressures, 207 00:10:05,601 --> 00:10:08,081 running a family that's remarkable. 208 00:10:10,241 --> 00:10:14,241 - You get a lot of resentment still from other cab drivers. 209 00:10:14,241 --> 00:10:16,121 Some of them they just give you abuse, 210 00:10:17,321 --> 00:10:18,401 some of them just sit there 211 00:10:18,401 --> 00:10:20,521 shaking their heads when they see you. 212 00:10:22,241 --> 00:10:24,401 I get told to go home and do the dishes or go home 213 00:10:24,401 --> 00:10:26,721 and do your husband's dinner. 214 00:10:29,481 --> 00:10:32,961 I went to a Knowledge School and there I met other girls 215 00:10:32,961 --> 00:10:37,601 doing the Knowledge and we became quite friendly, 216 00:10:37,601 --> 00:10:40,961 we meet on a certain rank at Knightsbridge 217 00:10:40,961 --> 00:10:43,401 and we go and have a cup of tea we have a look around 218 00:10:43,401 --> 00:10:48,321 Harrods, get a sandwich, use Harrod's loos. 219 00:10:48,321 --> 00:10:51,681 Have a little look around, spray the perfumes and lipsticks. 220 00:10:52,641 --> 00:10:56,041 - Does he do his fair share of the housework? 221 00:10:56,041 --> 00:10:57,521 - No, he doesn't do a thing. 222 00:10:58,681 --> 00:11:00,721 He doesn't even bring a cup from one room 223 00:11:00,721 --> 00:11:02,641 to the other I do everything. 224 00:11:03,961 --> 00:11:05,121 - Sounds awful don't it? 225 00:11:05,121 --> 00:11:06,801 - Terrible. 226 00:11:06,801 --> 00:11:08,801 - I'm not chauvinistic, don't get me wrong you know, 227 00:11:08,801 --> 00:11:10,241 it's not a question of that. 228 00:11:12,401 --> 00:11:16,361 I've a very luxurious life indoors right? 229 00:11:16,361 --> 00:11:19,921 And I'm not proud to say it or ashamed to say it 230 00:11:19,921 --> 00:11:21,281 I'm just the way I am. 231 00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:24,161 I mean I work as hard as I can outside 232 00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:26,601 and when I close that door the feet go up 233 00:11:26,601 --> 00:11:28,721 and I feel I deserve a rest. 234 00:11:28,721 --> 00:11:30,721 - Would everybody please sit round now 235 00:11:30,721 --> 00:11:31,561 and get on with their work. 236 00:11:31,561 --> 00:11:33,641 I don't want to see any backs to me. 237 00:11:35,601 --> 00:11:36,561 Shouldn't be anybody turning around. 238 00:11:36,561 --> 00:11:38,121 Tony do you hear as well? 239 00:11:40,721 --> 00:11:41,961 Get on with your work in front. 240 00:11:43,041 --> 00:11:47,081 Tony, don't turn round again. 241 00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:48,961 - So what advantages do you think you've had 242 00:11:48,961 --> 00:11:51,201 over some of the other people that we filmed? 243 00:11:52,561 --> 00:11:55,241 - Academically they've probably had more advantages 244 00:11:55,241 --> 00:11:57,801 over me owing to the fact they've had prep schools 245 00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:59,161 at a very early age you know. 246 00:11:59,161 --> 00:12:03,241 They've benefited by it which you know it tells obviously 247 00:12:03,241 --> 00:12:06,481 in this film but as far as you know the stability 248 00:12:06,481 --> 00:12:08,801 and the background you know with their parents 249 00:12:10,281 --> 00:12:11,641 they've missed out on that. 250 00:12:13,561 --> 00:12:17,841 It was February the 9th exactly 10 minutes past 9. 251 00:12:19,241 --> 00:12:23,241 Mothers having her last, well at the time we never knew, 252 00:12:23,241 --> 00:12:27,881 her last breath, and she just died 253 00:12:32,041 --> 00:12:35,521 with me holding her hand 254 00:12:35,521 --> 00:12:38,801 and it was the worst moment of my life. 255 00:12:41,401 --> 00:12:45,081 With respect to Debbie, she was and still is 256 00:12:47,321 --> 00:12:48,641 the best girl in the world. 257 00:12:50,521 --> 00:12:55,521 I'm sorry but Eastenders they're all close to their mums 258 00:12:55,801 --> 00:12:58,481 and you know like everyone else wherever 259 00:12:58,481 --> 00:13:01,681 you come from but my mom and I, 260 00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:04,041 I've made it clear from when we done 21. 261 00:13:07,841 --> 00:13:12,041 I just loved her, that's why. 262 00:13:13,161 --> 00:13:14,761 That's what I think isn't it. 263 00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:18,001 - I've never met anyone like his mum in my life. 264 00:13:18,001 --> 00:13:19,761 I doubt I ever will. 265 00:13:19,761 --> 00:13:22,481 She was a lovely lady, she was a friend to me 266 00:13:22,481 --> 00:13:25,881 she wasn't a mother in law and we used 267 00:13:25,881 --> 00:13:28,401 to go everywhere together me and his mum. 268 00:13:29,801 --> 00:13:31,521 - I know the old man from the time of his life 269 00:13:31,521 --> 00:13:34,321 afterwards he died there and then 270 00:13:35,561 --> 00:13:37,961 but he walked around until September this year. 271 00:13:39,481 --> 00:13:40,561 - When you buried him what 272 00:13:40,561 --> 00:13:42,321 did you put in his coffin? 273 00:13:44,641 --> 00:13:49,521 - I put 3 cards and I put crown and anchor dice, 274 00:13:49,521 --> 00:13:51,081 oh and a betting slip and a pen. 275 00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:52,881 Because that was my dads whole life. 276 00:13:54,881 --> 00:13:56,961 I'm at the graveside, I'm talking to her, 277 00:13:58,001 --> 00:14:00,601 I've got all images running through my mind saying like 278 00:14:00,601 --> 00:14:03,841 "Tony go downstairs get me five weights you know, 279 00:14:03,841 --> 00:14:06,401 "and one and a penny" and I used to go in the shop. 280 00:14:06,401 --> 00:14:09,001 She used to throw the cotton in a hair curler 281 00:14:09,001 --> 00:14:13,241 over the landing and I used to tie the cigarettes 282 00:14:13,241 --> 00:14:16,841 on this bit of cotton and she used to pull them up 283 00:14:16,841 --> 00:14:18,361 and you'd see her in the end, 284 00:14:18,361 --> 00:14:22,321 "Thanks Tone see you after school be good". 285 00:14:22,321 --> 00:14:25,801 And that's the way it was, and all little things like that. 286 00:14:25,801 --> 00:14:28,641 Mother having a drink in the pub, singing, don't care 287 00:14:28,641 --> 00:14:32,401 a monkeys she used to say, don't care about nothing. 288 00:14:32,401 --> 00:14:36,241 The poshies, "Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes". 289 00:14:37,121 --> 00:14:41,561 They're nuts, just have to touch them. 290 00:14:41,561 --> 00:14:45,961 Yeah well they can get what they want can't they? 291 00:14:45,961 --> 00:14:48,601 If you've got to work for it and it's them, they can just 292 00:14:48,601 --> 00:14:50,281 ask for money and they get it. 293 00:14:51,161 --> 00:14:52,161 They can buy what they want. 294 00:14:52,161 --> 00:14:53,801 I'm not a politician so let them worry 295 00:14:53,801 --> 00:14:56,641 about whats coming for the next day. 296 00:14:56,641 --> 00:15:00,361 All I understand is dogs, prices, girls, knowledge, 297 00:15:00,361 --> 00:15:04,001 roads, streets, squares and mum and dad and love. 298 00:15:04,001 --> 00:15:06,561 That's all I understand, that's all I want to understand. 299 00:15:07,641 --> 00:15:09,041 - How long are you going to be a cab driver, 300 00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:11,161 is this what you want to do for the rest of your life? 301 00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:14,481 - Well at the moment, I'm very happy in driving a cab 302 00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:19,121 but I always considered owning our own pub so obviously 303 00:15:19,121 --> 00:15:23,921 I think with two or three years, once I get finally, 304 00:15:23,921 --> 00:15:26,281 financially straightened out I'm going to have a go 305 00:15:26,281 --> 00:15:27,881 at being a publican. 306 00:15:27,881 --> 00:15:31,161 We did eventually get a pub about 18 months after wasn't it? 307 00:15:31,161 --> 00:15:32,361 - Yeah. 308 00:15:32,361 --> 00:15:36,481 - And we went in partnership with my brother in law 309 00:15:38,001 --> 00:15:41,001 and I saw the pub going in one direction, 310 00:15:41,001 --> 00:15:43,761 he saw it going in another one and after 311 00:15:43,761 --> 00:15:46,041 about eight months or a year wasn't it? 312 00:15:46,881 --> 00:15:49,081 We decided to call it a day. 313 00:15:49,081 --> 00:15:50,721 Next time it's hard work out there. 314 00:15:50,721 --> 00:15:51,561 - You're not reaching me yet. 315 00:15:51,561 --> 00:15:54,201 - At 28 Tony was taking acting lessons. 316 00:15:54,201 --> 00:15:56,121 - Be bigger, dominate me. 317 00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:59,041 - Son, son it's a big world out there 318 00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,361 and obviously I'm not. 319 00:16:00,361 --> 00:16:01,481 I can't get into it Brian. 320 00:16:01,481 --> 00:16:02,561 - All right, all right. 321 00:16:02,561 --> 00:16:04,801 - Pardon the expression but could you do my inside leg. 322 00:16:04,801 --> 00:16:06,681 - He now works as an extra. 323 00:16:08,081 --> 00:16:11,201 - I'll have a go at anything, especially acting, 324 00:16:11,201 --> 00:16:13,441 but talent, who am I to say? 325 00:16:13,441 --> 00:16:15,041 I'm not going to say I haven't but then again 326 00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:16,801 who's to stay anyone has? 327 00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:20,921 I promise you, it's just the job, no more no less. 328 00:16:22,241 --> 00:16:25,401 All that big ideas for stardom probably happened 329 00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:29,161 14 years ago, I mean, but not now, don't mean nothing 330 00:16:29,161 --> 00:16:30,161 believe it or not. 331 00:16:31,201 --> 00:16:33,281 I don't want to change because if I change 332 00:16:34,401 --> 00:16:36,721 it proves the other Tony Walker was all fake. 333 00:16:38,241 --> 00:16:41,321 I know, and I've always said it, there's never ever a thing 334 00:16:41,321 --> 00:16:43,881 in my life I've never set out to do 335 00:16:43,881 --> 00:16:44,961 that I've never achieved. 336 00:16:44,961 --> 00:16:47,241 I wanted to be a jockey thank God, 337 00:16:47,241 --> 00:16:50,121 I rode in a race with Lester Piggott and I did it. 338 00:16:50,121 --> 00:16:52,321 I wanted to be in the film game, I got in it. 339 00:16:52,321 --> 00:16:54,881 Working with Stephen Spielberg for 2 weeks 340 00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:56,881 on one of his films. 341 00:16:56,881 --> 00:16:59,041 I made it happen on my terms 342 00:16:59,041 --> 00:17:01,761 and no one can say "I helped him" 343 00:17:03,201 --> 00:17:04,801 and I'm a lot stronger in that respect. 344 00:17:04,801 --> 00:17:05,841 - But you didn't pull it off. 345 00:17:05,841 --> 00:17:08,041 You didn't pull a jockey off, you haven't made it 346 00:17:08,041 --> 00:17:10,481 as an actor, you didn't pull off the pub. 347 00:17:12,081 --> 00:17:13,001 - Well, it's better to be a has been than a 348 00:17:13,001 --> 00:17:14,041 never was wasn't it? 349 00:17:15,001 --> 00:17:17,241 My ambitions have gone out the window now 350 00:17:17,241 --> 00:17:20,921 cause I'm running a family, I'm playing a role now. 351 00:17:20,921 --> 00:17:23,561 That is my role in life I feel, but in saying 352 00:17:23,561 --> 00:17:26,681 that coming to the age of 34 I've done everything 353 00:17:26,681 --> 00:17:28,881 what I wanted to do. 354 00:17:29,881 --> 00:17:33,961 I've got no regrets other than not making it as a jockey, 355 00:17:33,961 --> 00:17:38,281 that is my only regret but we all live on dreams sometimes 356 00:17:38,281 --> 00:17:41,081 If they don't come off unlucky, you go again some time. 357 00:17:44,681 --> 00:17:47,001 - Tell me do you have any boyfriends Suzi? 358 00:17:49,201 --> 00:17:51,761 - Erm, yes. 359 00:17:51,761 --> 00:17:54,081 - Tell me about them. 360 00:17:54,081 --> 00:17:58,161 - Well he lives up in Scotland and he's I think he's 13 361 00:18:00,481 --> 00:18:04,321 and I'm rather lonely up there because he usually goes 362 00:18:04,321 --> 00:18:08,401 to school but we used to play till about half past 6 363 00:18:09,441 --> 00:18:12,561 when he comes home from school, then we go in 364 00:18:12,561 --> 00:18:16,961 and then he goes home to do his homework. 365 00:18:16,961 --> 00:18:18,321 - Have you got any boyfriends Suzi? 366 00:18:23,881 --> 00:18:28,281 - What is your attitude towards marriage for yourself? 367 00:18:32,721 --> 00:18:33,961 - Well, I don't know, I haven't given it a lot 368 00:18:33,961 --> 00:18:36,841 of thought cause I'm very very cynical about it. 369 00:18:40,481 --> 00:18:42,681 But then you get a certain amount of faith resorted in it 370 00:18:42,681 --> 00:18:46,081 when I mean, I've got friends and their parents 371 00:18:46,081 --> 00:18:48,721 are happily married and so it does put faith back 372 00:18:48,721 --> 00:18:51,161 into you but me myself I'm very cynical about it. 373 00:18:52,281 --> 00:18:54,881 - When I last saw you at 21 you were nervous 374 00:18:54,881 --> 00:18:57,081 you were chain smoking you were uptight 375 00:18:57,081 --> 00:19:00,681 and now you seem happy, whats happened to you 376 00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:02,841 over these last 7 years? 377 00:19:03,961 --> 00:19:07,321 - I suppose Rupert, I'll give you some credit. 378 00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:10,361 - I'm now chain smoking. 379 00:19:14,441 --> 00:19:17,281 - I think you can't just walk through marriage 380 00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:19,521 and think once you get married it's all going 381 00:19:19,521 --> 00:19:23,281 to be roses and everything for ever you know you have, 382 00:19:26,441 --> 00:19:29,241 well everybody has had their rows but we've never yet 383 00:19:29,241 --> 00:19:31,521 had a row that we haven't managed to sort out 384 00:19:33,801 --> 00:19:37,121 and I reckon really we've got a pretty, 385 00:19:37,121 --> 00:19:38,801 pretty good marriage. 386 00:19:38,801 --> 00:19:41,801 When I get married I'd like to have 2 children. 387 00:19:41,801 --> 00:19:45,441 I'm not very children minded at the moment 388 00:19:45,441 --> 00:19:46,681 I don't know if I ever will be. 389 00:19:48,601 --> 00:19:50,481 - What do you think about them? 390 00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:51,841 - Well I don't like babies. 391 00:19:53,041 --> 00:19:54,641 - What was the biggest shocks to you 392 00:19:54,641 --> 00:19:57,881 when you suddenly were confronted with a small baby 393 00:19:57,881 --> 00:20:00,601 that you had to be responsible for? 394 00:20:00,601 --> 00:20:02,481 - Panic set in I think. 395 00:20:02,481 --> 00:20:05,001 That I wasn't going to be able to cope. 396 00:20:05,001 --> 00:20:07,041 - Is it everything you wanted? 397 00:20:07,041 --> 00:20:09,081 - For the moment yes, I mean I don't think I'll have 398 00:20:09,081 --> 00:20:11,961 any more for the reason that I will get pleasure 399 00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:14,921 out of these two but I can't see me going on and on and on. 400 00:20:16,641 --> 00:20:17,561 - Mummy. 401 00:20:17,561 --> 00:20:18,401 - Yes. 402 00:20:18,401 --> 00:20:19,241 - Laura wants you. 403 00:20:19,241 --> 00:20:20,121 - Very little has changed. 404 00:20:20,121 --> 00:20:22,561 My life is probably very much the same as it was then. 405 00:20:22,561 --> 00:20:24,961 I've had another baby, we've moved house, 406 00:20:24,961 --> 00:20:26,001 and that's about all. 407 00:20:27,801 --> 00:20:30,281 Thomas is at a prep school now he's a day boy 408 00:20:31,601 --> 00:20:33,241 which he enjoys. 409 00:20:33,241 --> 00:20:34,561 Oliver's at school 410 00:20:34,561 --> 00:20:36,361 and Laura's just started this week. 411 00:20:38,241 --> 00:20:40,321 - Is discipline important? 412 00:20:40,321 --> 00:20:44,041 - Yes, it must be, I wouldn't want to bring up 413 00:20:44,041 --> 00:20:45,681 3 unruly rude children. 414 00:20:45,681 --> 00:20:50,041 I'd hate people to look at my children and think ugh, 415 00:20:50,041 --> 00:20:52,921 they don't want to have them for the day cause 416 00:20:52,921 --> 00:20:54,681 they're so badly behaved and rude 417 00:20:54,681 --> 00:20:56,761 but then you know some days you can spend you whole day 418 00:20:56,761 --> 00:20:59,881 just shouting at them because they're behaving so badly. 419 00:21:01,041 --> 00:21:02,001 - Would you like having a nanny 420 00:21:02,001 --> 00:21:04,041 to look after them or do you want to look after them? 421 00:21:05,361 --> 00:21:08,641 - No I want a nanny to look after them. 422 00:21:10,081 --> 00:21:12,481 We didn't have a third child because 423 00:21:12,481 --> 00:21:14,881 we desperately wanted to have a daughter. 424 00:21:14,881 --> 00:21:16,641 I mean you know, there's no point doing that, 425 00:21:16,641 --> 00:21:19,241 but it was lovely when she was a girl 426 00:21:19,241 --> 00:21:21,721 because I feel the boys will go off with Rupert fishing 427 00:21:21,721 --> 00:21:24,161 and stuff and I shall be left on my own 428 00:21:24,161 --> 00:21:26,241 so it'll be nice to have a girl around the place. 429 00:21:30,001 --> 00:21:33,361 Oliver's a very volatile child it's him 430 00:21:33,361 --> 00:21:35,601 and I that have the problems. 431 00:21:35,601 --> 00:21:36,761 Right from the minute 432 00:21:36,761 --> 00:21:38,921 he was born he screamed day and night 433 00:21:38,921 --> 00:21:40,401 and he's never got any better. 434 00:21:44,081 --> 00:21:47,721 He's got learning difficulties, dyslexia may come into it, 435 00:21:47,721 --> 00:21:48,641 we don't know yet. 436 00:21:49,881 --> 00:21:52,161 I think he would benefit from being at a school 437 00:21:52,161 --> 00:21:54,961 where he's where he can cope better. 438 00:21:56,241 --> 00:21:58,761 - As a teenager, Suzi spent her holidays 439 00:21:58,761 --> 00:22:01,281 on her fathers estate in Scotland. 440 00:22:01,281 --> 00:22:03,161 What sort of things do you do? 441 00:22:03,161 --> 00:22:06,481 - Ride, swim, play tennis, ping pong. 442 00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:11,201 I might play croquet, things like that. 443 00:22:14,801 --> 00:22:19,281 - What about the social life, whats that? 444 00:22:19,281 --> 00:22:20,641 - What in Perthshire? 445 00:22:20,641 --> 00:22:21,441 - Yes. 446 00:22:21,441 --> 00:22:22,281 - Mm, quite fun. 447 00:22:22,281 --> 00:22:25,681 I came to London when I left school after Paris 448 00:22:27,521 --> 00:22:28,841 and at the moment I could never live in the country. 449 00:22:28,841 --> 00:22:33,841 I'm happy down here I mean the country's nice for 4 days 450 00:22:34,201 --> 00:22:36,841 to go for long healthy walks but I mean 451 00:22:36,841 --> 00:22:38,361 I could never live up there now. 452 00:22:41,201 --> 00:22:42,521 - This is a wonderful atmosphere 453 00:22:42,521 --> 00:22:44,281 to bring up children. 454 00:22:44,281 --> 00:22:45,841 Do you think in some way it might be 455 00:22:45,841 --> 00:22:47,761 too secluded and safe for them? 456 00:22:49,041 --> 00:22:49,881 - It could be. 457 00:22:49,881 --> 00:22:52,041 That's something that slightly frightens me 458 00:22:52,041 --> 00:22:54,321 that it is it's a very cosseted life that they have here 459 00:22:54,321 --> 00:22:57,361 and they've got to hit the world at some point. 460 00:22:57,361 --> 00:23:00,881 I just hope that I can help them cope with it. 461 00:23:02,481 --> 00:23:04,641 It is the most carefree time of your life. 462 00:23:04,641 --> 00:23:07,081 I'm not saying it is for all children. 463 00:23:07,081 --> 00:23:10,761 Well any child going through their parents splitting up 464 00:23:10,761 --> 00:23:14,161 aged 14 you're at a very vulnerable age and it does cut 465 00:23:14,161 --> 00:23:18,161 you up but you know, you get over it. 466 00:23:19,641 --> 00:23:22,401 There's no point them staying together for me 467 00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:26,081 because it was worse I mean the rows, it's worse. 468 00:23:26,081 --> 00:23:27,561 If two people can't live together 469 00:23:27,561 --> 00:23:29,241 there's no point making yourself. 470 00:23:30,321 --> 00:23:35,041 I hope by Rupert and I giving them a close family unit 471 00:23:35,041 --> 00:23:37,801 that they'll keep their heads and won't feel 472 00:23:37,801 --> 00:23:40,441 that they're slightly lost like I did. 473 00:23:41,721 --> 00:23:45,481 Where I wasted time was in my middle late teens 474 00:23:45,481 --> 00:23:47,481 and I think at that stage I didn't care. 475 00:23:48,561 --> 00:23:50,681 I just let those years go really, I drifted 476 00:23:52,081 --> 00:23:53,961 and it's too late now to look back. 477 00:23:54,921 --> 00:23:59,401 When I leave school I'm down for Heathfield 478 00:23:59,401 --> 00:24:03,161 and Southover Manor and then maybe I may want 479 00:24:03,161 --> 00:24:06,641 to go to a University but I don't know which one yet. 480 00:24:07,601 --> 00:24:11,481 I'd like to do maybe shorthand typing 481 00:24:11,481 --> 00:24:12,321 or something like that. 482 00:24:12,321 --> 00:24:14,801 I left school when I was 16, went to Paris 483 00:24:18,041 --> 00:24:20,721 went to secretarial college and got a job. 484 00:24:20,721 --> 00:24:22,161 - What made you decide 485 00:24:22,161 --> 00:24:23,801 to leave school and go to Paris? 486 00:24:25,561 --> 00:24:27,201 - I just wasn't interested in school 487 00:24:27,201 --> 00:24:28,601 and just wanted to get away. 488 00:24:30,001 --> 00:24:32,401 - I was a partner in a quite a big law firm 489 00:24:32,401 --> 00:24:35,761 and I resigned from that set up my own company. 490 00:24:37,921 --> 00:24:41,161 I tend to specialise in refurbishing old buildings 491 00:24:41,161 --> 00:24:42,801 and converting them into offices. 492 00:24:44,481 --> 00:24:46,801 - Well if Rupert's still got his property company 493 00:24:46,801 --> 00:24:50,321 in this present economic climate, I'd like to get 494 00:24:50,321 --> 00:24:51,521 more involved with that. 495 00:24:52,961 --> 00:24:54,641 It was a very difficult time when Rupert 496 00:24:54,641 --> 00:24:56,641 was deciding to leave. 497 00:24:56,641 --> 00:24:58,081 He's got a lot of responsibilities 498 00:24:58,081 --> 00:24:59,401 with all of us and it's not easy 499 00:24:59,401 --> 00:25:00,681 just starting off on your own. 500 00:25:00,681 --> 00:25:03,081 - Do you ever worry that the roof might 501 00:25:03,081 --> 00:25:06,881 fall in and you'll be out of this and whatever? 502 00:25:06,881 --> 00:25:09,481 - Yes, it crosses my mind. 503 00:25:09,481 --> 00:25:12,481 Last year, it's quite, 504 00:25:12,481 --> 00:25:15,481 it's crossed my mind quite hard that we might, 505 00:25:15,481 --> 00:25:18,721 you know we could lose this if things don't pick up. 506 00:25:20,401 --> 00:25:23,641 - When she was 28 Suzy's father had just died. 507 00:25:24,881 --> 00:25:27,681 - It's very hard to describe to somebody 508 00:25:27,681 --> 00:25:29,641 how you just take the loss. 509 00:25:29,641 --> 00:25:32,601 It is terribly hard, even now I still can't believe 510 00:25:32,601 --> 00:25:33,961 my fathers not here. 511 00:25:35,001 --> 00:25:37,721 It's still sinking in I think. 512 00:25:39,081 --> 00:25:41,961 The death of one of your close family is probably 513 00:25:41,961 --> 00:25:43,521 something you don't ever get over 514 00:25:43,521 --> 00:25:47,121 and it's a different kind of problem than anything else. 515 00:25:48,761 --> 00:25:50,921 - Tell me about your mum. 516 00:25:50,921 --> 00:25:53,841 - She was diagnosed before Christmas as having lung cancer 517 00:25:55,241 --> 00:25:57,721 but she's strong, she's tough 518 00:25:57,721 --> 00:26:00,521 and hopefully she'll pull her way of it. 519 00:26:01,561 --> 00:26:06,521 She's just had a horrendous operation, she's still in 520 00:26:06,521 --> 00:26:08,521 hospital now in a lot of pain. 521 00:26:09,561 --> 00:26:10,921 You see someone in pain like 522 00:26:10,921 --> 00:26:13,801 that it's especially someone that you love 523 00:26:13,801 --> 00:26:16,041 and care for, it's it's very hard. 524 00:26:18,561 --> 00:26:22,401 Somehow I think when you're faced with it you 525 00:26:22,401 --> 00:26:23,641 just find inner strength. 526 00:26:23,641 --> 00:26:27,241 I think you think beforehand something awful 527 00:26:27,241 --> 00:26:29,721 you can't cope with it but somehow when it's there 528 00:26:29,721 --> 00:26:31,481 you just get on. 529 00:26:32,721 --> 00:26:36,401 Someone somehow gives you inner strength to cope with it. 530 00:26:36,401 --> 00:26:39,001 - What do you think about making this programme? 531 00:26:43,401 --> 00:26:44,241 - I just think it's ridiculous, 532 00:26:44,241 --> 00:26:46,081 I don't see any point in doing it. 533 00:26:46,081 --> 00:26:49,961 The first year or two after 28 UP came out 534 00:26:51,241 --> 00:26:54,041 you know I'd meet people, or people in shops 535 00:26:54,041 --> 00:26:57,041 would ask me whether I was the girl that did the programme 536 00:26:58,081 --> 00:27:00,641 and that's quite hard because it's churning up 537 00:27:00,641 --> 00:27:03,281 all happy memories, sad memories, 538 00:27:03,281 --> 00:27:06,801 and it all comes flooding back, parts 539 00:27:06,801 --> 00:27:08,481 that I'd rather forget and it's all 540 00:27:08,481 --> 00:27:09,881 there for people to see. 541 00:27:10,961 --> 00:27:13,041 Although most people are quite nice about it you get 542 00:27:13,041 --> 00:27:18,041 the odd one who's fairly rude and I just think they're 543 00:27:19,321 --> 00:27:21,921 lucky then they didn't have to have it done to them. 544 00:27:27,881 --> 00:27:31,441 I've had a very privileged life compared to some people. 545 00:27:31,441 --> 00:27:36,161 I've never really had to struggle to make my way 546 00:27:36,161 --> 00:27:38,361 but I don't think I've taken for granted 547 00:27:38,361 --> 00:27:39,561 what I've had either. 548 00:27:40,721 --> 00:27:42,081 This may sound very arrogant 549 00:27:42,081 --> 00:27:46,801 but you can't if I let it worry me I mean I'd worry 550 00:27:46,801 --> 00:27:49,841 myself to death, I can't change what I was born into. 551 00:27:54,641 --> 00:27:59,641 - Well, going to Africa and try and teach people 552 00:27:59,641 --> 00:28:04,641 who are not civilised to be more or less good. 553 00:28:05,321 --> 00:28:08,241 No I don't want to be a missionary because I just can't talk 554 00:28:08,241 --> 00:28:09,201 about it to people. 555 00:28:11,401 --> 00:28:12,721 I am interested in it myself 556 00:28:12,721 --> 00:28:16,241 but I wouldn't be very good at it at all. 557 00:28:23,561 --> 00:28:26,601 - So is this your missionary dream come true? 558 00:28:26,601 --> 00:28:30,361 - Well not exactly, I'm a teacher now in London 559 00:28:30,361 --> 00:28:33,761 and I've had the opportunity to come here for a term 560 00:28:34,921 --> 00:28:37,881 and it just so happens the school I am in has great links 561 00:28:37,881 --> 00:28:42,241 with this part of the world and you know I've come here 562 00:28:42,241 --> 00:28:46,841 to find out about the background of many of the boys 563 00:28:46,841 --> 00:28:48,241 that I teach back in London. 564 00:28:49,921 --> 00:28:52,641 - At 35 Bruce is working in Sylhet, 565 00:28:52,641 --> 00:28:55,481 a town in the north east corner of Bangladesh. 566 00:28:58,921 --> 00:29:00,961 - Well I'm earning my keep by teaching maths 567 00:29:00,961 --> 00:29:03,081 and helping the teachers here, 568 00:29:03,081 --> 00:29:04,961 helping them design courses of study. 569 00:29:06,401 --> 00:29:09,681 I'm also teaching them English, they've all got quite good 570 00:29:09,681 --> 00:29:13,361 English but practising and improving their English 571 00:29:13,361 --> 00:29:16,321 and then I've also got the chance to learn a bit of Bangla 572 00:29:16,321 --> 00:29:19,721 which is very difficult and I'm not doing very well at all. 573 00:29:19,721 --> 00:29:22,881 - Bangladesh, Bangladesh, Bangladesh. 574 00:29:22,881 --> 00:29:24,121 - Bangladesh. 575 00:29:24,121 --> 00:29:25,081 - Bangladesh. 576 00:29:25,081 --> 00:29:25,921 - Bangladesh. 577 00:29:25,921 --> 00:29:26,761 - Mango. 578 00:29:26,761 --> 00:29:27,961 - Mango. 579 00:29:27,961 --> 00:29:28,801 - Ahm. 580 00:29:28,801 --> 00:29:29,641 - Ahm. 581 00:29:29,641 --> 00:29:36,881 - Vasto, Vastos, vastat, vastons, vastones, vastat. 582 00:29:37,481 --> 00:29:38,801 - Yeah speak up. 583 00:29:39,881 --> 00:29:42,321 - At 7 Bruce was at a pre-preparatory 584 00:29:42,321 --> 00:29:47,321 boarding school, at 14 St Paul's school in London. 585 00:29:48,361 --> 00:29:52,241 - They don't sort of enforce being upper class 586 00:29:52,241 --> 00:29:55,961 and things like that at St Paul's. 587 00:29:55,961 --> 00:29:58,601 They suggest that you don't have long hair 588 00:29:58,601 --> 00:30:00,241 and they do get it cut if. 589 00:30:02,721 --> 00:30:05,281 They teach you to be reasonably well mannered 590 00:30:05,281 --> 00:30:08,121 but not to sniff on the poorer people. 591 00:30:09,401 --> 00:30:11,321 - At 21 he was in his 592 00:30:11,321 --> 00:30:13,601 last year at Oxford reading maths. 593 00:30:17,401 --> 00:30:19,361 - You can show that this is irreducible 594 00:30:20,321 --> 00:30:22,841 then you do a transformation on this polynomial, 595 00:30:22,841 --> 00:30:24,241 x equal to t plus two. 596 00:30:24,241 --> 00:30:27,241 - Good, that's a nice way of doing it, particularly using 597 00:30:27,241 --> 00:30:29,001 Einstein down here. 598 00:30:29,001 --> 00:30:30,761 His test is very powerful. 599 00:30:30,761 --> 00:30:32,521 - I won't carry on with mathematics, 600 00:30:32,521 --> 00:30:34,361 I don't think I'll be a teacher. 601 00:30:34,361 --> 00:30:35,761 Chris Soarabe. 602 00:30:35,761 --> 00:30:36,601 - Yes sir. 603 00:30:36,601 --> 00:30:38,481 - At 28 he was teaching, 604 00:30:38,481 --> 00:30:40,681 immigrant children in East London. 605 00:30:40,681 --> 00:30:42,721 - And to here, 25. 606 00:30:42,721 --> 00:30:43,881 Now it cost you 24, now you're not going to. 607 00:30:43,881 --> 00:30:46,081 - It's so different from your own education 608 00:30:46,081 --> 00:30:48,481 where you're teaching now, why? 609 00:30:48,481 --> 00:30:52,801 - General education is better for society I think. 610 00:30:52,801 --> 00:30:54,681 Public schools are divisive, 611 00:30:54,681 --> 00:30:56,801 that's with no statement about my education. 612 00:30:56,801 --> 00:31:00,121 My education was academically excellent 613 00:31:00,121 --> 00:31:02,161 and I was very grateful for it. 614 00:31:02,161 --> 00:31:04,401 I think there is a class society 615 00:31:04,401 --> 00:31:09,401 and I think public schools may help its continuance. 616 00:31:11,441 --> 00:31:13,121 - At 35 in Sylhet 617 00:31:13,121 --> 00:31:14,921 he is teaching the older students. 618 00:31:15,841 --> 00:31:19,361 - I see education as a key to it all I mean once 619 00:31:19,361 --> 00:31:23,161 your population becomes educated it can think for itself 620 00:31:23,161 --> 00:31:25,881 a lot more and create wealth and create opportunities. 621 00:31:25,881 --> 00:31:29,441 Good, because you've got to get an x squared. 622 00:31:31,481 --> 00:31:32,601 Now when we come to the village we're 623 00:31:32,601 --> 00:31:34,201 definitely going to go swimming. 624 00:31:34,201 --> 00:31:36,441 - What do you like about Sylhet? 625 00:31:36,441 --> 00:31:39,241 - Well I think mainly the people and their hospitality. 626 00:31:40,121 --> 00:31:43,961 A couple of weeks ago I went on a visit to a family 627 00:31:43,961 --> 00:31:46,121 with a teacher from this school. 628 00:31:46,121 --> 00:31:48,441 They lived in a one room flat but we were immediately 629 00:31:48,441 --> 00:31:51,641 invited in and we sat around having food with them 630 00:31:51,641 --> 00:31:54,281 and that's what hospitality means. 631 00:31:54,281 --> 00:31:56,801 If I was back in England and I turned up 632 00:31:56,801 --> 00:31:58,481 say at a friends an hour before 633 00:31:58,481 --> 00:32:02,041 lunch with three people they'd never met they'd say 634 00:32:02,041 --> 00:32:04,001 well lets go down the pub or something. 635 00:32:04,961 --> 00:32:06,601 I didn't agree with the Conservatives 636 00:32:06,601 --> 00:32:09,721 about what they were doing with the black people, 637 00:32:09,721 --> 00:32:11,321 you know, racial policy. 638 00:32:13,481 --> 00:32:16,441 Everybody has the capacity to be racist wherever 639 00:32:16,441 --> 00:32:17,801 you are in the world. 640 00:32:17,801 --> 00:32:21,241 I think it's a natural human condition to be afraid 641 00:32:21,241 --> 00:32:24,641 of something that's slightly different to you I think 642 00:32:24,641 --> 00:32:25,761 that that's the basis of it. 643 00:32:25,761 --> 00:32:28,401 I mean I know academically it's defined 644 00:32:28,401 --> 00:32:30,441 as prejudice plus power. 645 00:32:30,441 --> 00:32:32,121 When you've got the power to do something 646 00:32:32,121 --> 00:32:36,441 about it you can turn it into something very damaging 647 00:32:36,441 --> 00:32:38,721 to the person who's receiving it. 648 00:32:38,721 --> 00:32:41,881 I think if you recognise that as an emotional condition 649 00:32:41,881 --> 00:32:45,121 maybe you can use your intellect to check yourself. 650 00:32:47,281 --> 00:32:49,601 - Has a country like this got any future? 651 00:32:50,641 --> 00:32:52,641 - I think it needs an awful lot of help. 652 00:32:52,641 --> 00:32:55,721 The amount of general poverty I think is growing. 653 00:32:55,721 --> 00:32:58,961 You see so many children working I mean it used to be 654 00:32:58,961 --> 00:33:02,641 a rich area 200 years ago and more people would call it 655 00:33:02,641 --> 00:33:04,561 the Pearl of the Bay of Bengal. 656 00:33:04,561 --> 00:33:07,401 People wondered at it and it's not that now 657 00:33:07,401 --> 00:33:12,401 and that's not unconnected with the British rule here. 658 00:33:13,001 --> 00:33:16,201 Basically we don't care that many countries 659 00:33:16,201 --> 00:33:20,241 are incredibly poor, we simply don't care I mean we do 660 00:33:21,761 --> 00:33:24,881 raise money for charity and so on, which is excellent, 661 00:33:24,881 --> 00:33:28,841 but it's simply not good enough at the end of the day. 662 00:33:28,841 --> 00:33:33,841 Well my girlfriend is in Africa and I don't think 663 00:33:34,601 --> 00:33:37,681 I'll have another chance of seeing her again. 664 00:33:37,681 --> 00:33:39,521 - Have you got any girlfriends? 665 00:33:39,521 --> 00:33:44,521 - No, no not yet, I'm sure it will come but not yet. 666 00:33:45,081 --> 00:33:49,201 I mean I do think a lot of people think too much about it. 667 00:33:50,441 --> 00:33:53,161 - What happened when you burnt your fingers? 668 00:33:54,241 --> 00:33:59,241 - Erm, I'd rather not talk about it. 669 00:34:01,961 --> 00:34:05,401 Well no, I don't really mean that I mean I don't mean 670 00:34:05,401 --> 00:34:06,721 that I don't want to talk about it just 671 00:34:06,721 --> 00:34:09,321 that I'd need quite a long time to think about it. 672 00:34:10,281 --> 00:34:14,001 I think I'd very much like to become involved 673 00:34:17,401 --> 00:34:18,401 in a family life. 674 00:34:18,401 --> 00:34:19,881 My own family for a start. 675 00:34:19,881 --> 00:34:23,521 It's a need that I feel I ought to fulfil 676 00:34:23,521 --> 00:34:26,281 and would like to fulfil and would do it well. 677 00:34:26,281 --> 00:34:29,361 Yes I haven't got married or whatever and I suppose 678 00:34:29,361 --> 00:34:32,281 that would've been something which I hoped would happen, 679 00:34:34,521 --> 00:34:38,321 you know I suppose lots of reasons really, 680 00:34:38,321 --> 00:34:40,681 I don't suppose I've met the right person. 681 00:34:40,681 --> 00:34:41,681 Well about 10 minutes. 682 00:34:41,681 --> 00:34:43,881 I mean you just read out an article. 683 00:34:43,881 --> 00:34:46,721 I'm still a bit shy and awkward, still have a bit 684 00:34:46,721 --> 00:34:48,081 of growing up to do sometimes, 685 00:34:48,081 --> 00:34:51,401 I think I'm a little bit immature sometimes. 686 00:34:51,401 --> 00:34:56,361 I can have quite sort of teenage like crushes 687 00:34:56,361 --> 00:35:01,361 on people and I can see myself falling into it 688 00:35:02,801 --> 00:35:04,721 and know exactly whats happening but sort of unable 689 00:35:04,721 --> 00:35:05,921 to do anything about it. 690 00:35:07,401 --> 00:35:10,881 I've had affairs, sometimes they've ended 691 00:35:10,881 --> 00:35:13,881 quite naturally with goodwill on both sides. 692 00:35:15,241 --> 00:35:18,041 Maybe I just haven't met the right person. 693 00:35:18,041 --> 00:35:20,561 - Well you're getting on a bit aren't you worried? 694 00:35:20,561 --> 00:35:23,561 - Well not particularly, I'm always optimistic. 695 00:35:23,561 --> 00:35:27,281 Who knows who I might meet tomorrow but I think 696 00:35:27,281 --> 00:35:29,001 that's the trouble with reserve. 697 00:35:29,001 --> 00:35:31,721 You're not rejected but you never know what might have been. 698 00:35:31,721 --> 00:35:35,041 But I'm getting better you know, year by year. 699 00:35:35,041 --> 00:35:36,641 I think we all grow up. 700 00:35:38,161 --> 00:35:39,001 - What are the qualities 701 00:35:39,001 --> 00:35:39,841 in a woman that you look for? 702 00:35:41,561 --> 00:35:45,081 - Well, somebody I get on with I suppose not particularly 703 00:35:50,121 --> 00:35:52,921 attractive or whatever, I don't want this to turn 704 00:35:52,921 --> 00:35:55,881 into a sort of a dating agency video. 705 00:35:58,201 --> 00:36:03,121 My hearts desire is to see my Daddy who is 6,000 miles away. 706 00:36:04,321 --> 00:36:06,561 He died about three years ago. 707 00:36:06,561 --> 00:36:08,561 He was 72 I mean we did 708 00:36:08,561 --> 00:36:12,201 drift apart because he was in Rhodesia, Zimbabwe 709 00:36:12,201 --> 00:36:14,801 as it now is, he did come back to England 710 00:36:14,801 --> 00:36:17,761 and retire and I did used to go up to Yorkshire and see him. 711 00:36:17,761 --> 00:36:20,921 Not as often as I should've done, I mean I'm sure 712 00:36:20,921 --> 00:36:23,321 he had a fond feeling for me and I'd have liked 713 00:36:23,321 --> 00:36:25,001 to have returned that in some way. 714 00:36:26,401 --> 00:36:28,041 - Do you miss him? 715 00:36:28,041 --> 00:36:30,721 - Well I'd like to have been able to miss him, 716 00:36:30,721 --> 00:36:34,161 I'd like to have got closer to be able to miss him. 717 00:36:34,161 --> 00:36:37,561 I regret that chance of not getting closer at that time. 718 00:36:38,481 --> 00:36:42,401 You always need people to care for you because 719 00:36:42,401 --> 00:36:45,001 if you disappoint yourself by acting badly 720 00:36:45,001 --> 00:36:47,841 in a particular way you tend most to hurt the people 721 00:36:47,841 --> 00:36:51,481 who love you and where would we be without 722 00:36:51,481 --> 00:36:52,801 having people to love you. 723 00:36:55,241 --> 00:36:57,641 - At 28 Bruce was living in a council flat 724 00:36:57,641 --> 00:37:00,961 in East London, he's now in primitive lodgings 725 00:37:00,961 --> 00:37:02,201 in the middle of Sylhet. 726 00:37:05,601 --> 00:37:07,081 - Is money important to you? 727 00:37:07,081 --> 00:37:09,321 - Well not really, I have enough to live on. 728 00:37:10,601 --> 00:37:13,681 I don't know whether teachers deserve more money. 729 00:37:13,681 --> 00:37:16,321 My gripe's has never been about money, it's always been 730 00:37:16,321 --> 00:37:17,921 about horrid conditions of work. 731 00:37:19,241 --> 00:37:22,561 I find it horrible that people care so much about money. 732 00:37:22,561 --> 00:37:25,601 There are many more finer things in life than that. 733 00:37:25,601 --> 00:37:27,761 You know, people who bought the shares 734 00:37:27,761 --> 00:37:31,481 in the privatisation issues just to make quick money. 735 00:37:31,481 --> 00:37:34,721 I just thought well, what are you about in life? 736 00:37:34,721 --> 00:37:35,801 Is that it? 737 00:37:37,841 --> 00:37:40,121 You know, I didn't want any part in that. 738 00:37:44,961 --> 00:37:47,121 - This film is about opportunity, 739 00:37:47,121 --> 00:37:50,201 do you think you've made the most of your opportunities? 740 00:37:50,201 --> 00:37:52,841 - My opportunity was to do what I wanted 741 00:37:52,841 --> 00:37:54,241 and what I found fulfilling. 742 00:37:55,361 --> 00:37:59,561 And I had a great variety because of my background, yes. 743 00:37:59,561 --> 00:38:01,921 I've made the most of my opportunity 744 00:38:01,921 --> 00:38:03,281 because I've found something to do 745 00:38:03,281 --> 00:38:06,401 that I find rewarding and that was my opportunity. 746 00:38:19,321 --> 00:38:22,801 I see education as being very important you know, 747 00:38:22,801 --> 00:38:25,881 which is why I'm distressed by something 748 00:38:25,881 --> 00:38:28,561 which I see in Bangladesh, the young kids working 749 00:38:28,561 --> 00:38:32,401 so hard they need to bring the money in for their family. 750 00:38:32,401 --> 00:38:35,801 I'd say education is a right, the more they learn, 751 00:38:36,681 --> 00:38:38,161 the more choices they have in life. 752 00:38:38,161 --> 00:38:40,641 Life should be a rich experience. 753 00:38:45,041 --> 00:38:48,401 - If we did all love Geoffrey and we all wanted 754 00:38:48,401 --> 00:38:51,241 to marry him I think I know the one that he'd 755 00:38:51,241 --> 00:38:54,001 like the best and that's her. 756 00:38:55,761 --> 00:38:57,241 - Plenty of boyfriends but not one. 757 00:38:57,241 --> 00:38:58,841 - Yeah, not one in particular. 758 00:38:58,841 --> 00:39:01,321 Friends with plenty of boys you know. 759 00:39:01,321 --> 00:39:06,241 - We had a teacher at school, his favourite ploy was 760 00:39:07,641 --> 00:39:10,721 all you girls want to do is walk out, get married, 761 00:39:10,721 --> 00:39:12,641 have babies and push a pram down the street 762 00:39:12,641 --> 00:39:14,681 with a fag hanging outside your mouth. 763 00:39:15,881 --> 00:39:19,401 - Women are expanding into so many different areas now 764 00:39:19,401 --> 00:39:22,601 that it must be getting easier, I mean I could still 765 00:39:22,601 --> 00:39:25,081 be working now and have a family if I wanted to. 766 00:39:25,081 --> 00:39:27,961 The number of people in my situation, single, 767 00:39:27,961 --> 00:39:29,961 not single parents as such but divorced 768 00:39:29,961 --> 00:39:32,641 single parents is unbelievable. 769 00:39:32,641 --> 00:39:34,321 And the people of my mum's generation, 770 00:39:34,321 --> 00:39:37,361 it's still rare, very rare. 771 00:39:37,361 --> 00:39:39,801 - If my mum was to contemplate leaving my dad was far, 772 00:39:39,801 --> 00:39:42,161 I mean I don't even know what she would've done. 773 00:39:43,161 --> 00:39:44,841 Because she never dreamed of working until the youngest one 774 00:39:44,841 --> 00:39:47,401 went to school so I couldn't I couldn't imagine 775 00:39:47,401 --> 00:39:49,361 where she would've gone or what she would've done. 776 00:39:49,361 --> 00:39:51,241 - We haven't got that problem. 777 00:39:51,241 --> 00:39:54,241 If a relationship is not working then 778 00:39:55,761 --> 00:39:59,121 it's acceptable in society to bail out. 779 00:40:01,041 --> 00:40:03,961 - Well I know he is hers and he loves her. 780 00:40:04,961 --> 00:40:07,601 - I don't I love him. 781 00:40:07,601 --> 00:40:11,281 - I don't think I'd get married too early, 782 00:40:12,801 --> 00:40:15,561 I'd like to have a full life first and meet people 783 00:40:15,561 --> 00:40:20,001 before you commit yourself to a family. 784 00:40:20,001 --> 00:40:22,681 - Sue was 24 when she married Billy, 785 00:40:22,681 --> 00:40:24,921 they had two children, William and Katherine. 786 00:40:25,881 --> 00:40:28,201 - I think that to get married young there must be things 787 00:40:28,201 --> 00:40:32,361 that you miss, you must miss that crucial stage 788 00:40:32,361 --> 00:40:35,041 of being yourself, because the minute you get married 789 00:40:35,041 --> 00:40:37,681 you're no longer a single being, 790 00:40:37,681 --> 00:40:40,641 you're a partnership and that should be the idea behind it. 791 00:40:42,081 --> 00:40:44,241 Go on then, you go first, turn it over 792 00:40:44,241 --> 00:40:45,481 and put it back in the same place. 793 00:40:45,481 --> 00:40:48,761 Just after we made the last one I had Katherine 794 00:40:48,761 --> 00:40:52,961 and then she was about a year and the marriage started 795 00:40:52,961 --> 00:40:56,441 to sort of dissolve around us really and we decided 796 00:40:56,441 --> 00:40:59,241 to go our separate ways. 797 00:40:59,241 --> 00:41:00,281 I've never sat down 798 00:41:00,281 --> 00:41:05,281 and thought what was it, was it this was it that. 799 00:41:05,641 --> 00:41:10,641 I just knew it wasn't working and the discussion 800 00:41:10,641 --> 00:41:15,081 really was the best way of splitting up rather than 801 00:41:16,081 --> 00:41:17,241 why are we splitting up? 802 00:41:17,241 --> 00:41:21,961 It was really strange, I think it seemed so obvious 803 00:41:21,961 --> 00:41:25,481 to both of us that it was probably easier 804 00:41:25,481 --> 00:41:26,961 to do than it should've been. 805 00:41:28,561 --> 00:41:32,561 I have a regular one night a week when I can go out. 806 00:41:35,961 --> 00:41:39,921 It just happens to be that in this particular circle most 807 00:41:39,921 --> 00:41:43,001 of them are separated or divorced. 808 00:41:44,841 --> 00:41:48,201 You have common problems so sometimes it's easier 809 00:41:48,201 --> 00:41:51,281 because you recognise each others problems with babysitters. 810 00:41:51,281 --> 00:41:53,521 You know it's not always possible 811 00:41:53,521 --> 00:41:55,041 to drop everything and go out. 812 00:41:56,521 --> 00:41:58,641 I think that women want more out of life now, 813 00:41:58,641 --> 00:42:00,601 that is basically why they won't put up 814 00:42:00,601 --> 00:42:03,521 with a less than happy marriage. 815 00:42:03,521 --> 00:42:06,561 - Are you ready for a long term relationship? 816 00:42:06,561 --> 00:42:09,721 - I don't think you're ever ready 817 00:42:09,721 --> 00:42:11,801 for a long term relationship either it happens to you 818 00:42:11,801 --> 00:42:13,961 or it doesn't really. 819 00:42:13,961 --> 00:42:16,281 I certainly wouldn't kick one 820 00:42:16,281 --> 00:42:21,281 in the teeth if it crept up on me, yeah, why not? 821 00:42:22,121 --> 00:42:23,241 - Did you meet enough men 822 00:42:23,241 --> 00:42:25,641 before you decided who to marry? 823 00:42:25,641 --> 00:42:28,801 - I've been married a year and a couple of months. 824 00:42:30,361 --> 00:42:32,561 And you do think Christ what have I done? 825 00:42:34,801 --> 00:42:36,241 - See I still got my kids. 826 00:42:36,241 --> 00:42:37,761 - And I'm being honest about it. 827 00:42:38,961 --> 00:42:40,241 And Russ thinks the same. 828 00:42:40,241 --> 00:42:43,001 At times you think Christ what have I done? 829 00:42:44,761 --> 00:42:46,961 - Lynn married Russ at 19, 830 00:42:46,961 --> 00:42:48,761 he works for the Post Office. 831 00:42:48,761 --> 00:42:51,001 They have two daughters, Sarah and Emma. 832 00:42:52,081 --> 00:42:56,521 - I'm very much geared to the family unit, I mean us all. 833 00:42:57,601 --> 00:43:01,081 We do things together all the time. 834 00:43:02,561 --> 00:43:04,561 I mean there are times when Russ and I obviously 835 00:43:04,561 --> 00:43:07,201 we like to leave it all behind 836 00:43:07,201 --> 00:43:09,841 and go out just the two of us. 837 00:43:09,841 --> 00:43:11,841 Now as the girls are getting older we've actually 838 00:43:11,841 --> 00:43:13,241 started taking them with us. 839 00:43:14,561 --> 00:43:16,281 I'll say, oh we haven't done very much 840 00:43:16,281 --> 00:43:17,841 but when you look back we have. 841 00:43:19,081 --> 00:43:21,841 It might only just be playing games or going swimming 842 00:43:21,841 --> 00:43:25,561 or going for a walk we're doing it together. 843 00:43:25,561 --> 00:43:27,721 - If you think that getting married 844 00:43:27,721 --> 00:43:28,721 as far as we're concerned 845 00:43:28,721 --> 00:43:30,361 is a case of going to work, coming home, 846 00:43:30,361 --> 00:43:32,801 cook tea for hubby, going to bed, getting up, 847 00:43:32,801 --> 00:43:35,041 going to work you're totally mistaken. 848 00:43:35,961 --> 00:43:38,321 - Jackie married Mick when she was 19. 849 00:43:40,281 --> 00:43:42,081 - I'm not sure I would recommend it. 850 00:43:43,081 --> 00:43:47,561 I think if but again you're generalising, 851 00:43:47,561 --> 00:43:52,041 I would say on average 19 is probably too young. 852 00:43:53,481 --> 00:43:57,481 We decided ourselves, I mean just between the two of us, 853 00:43:57,481 --> 00:44:01,881 we knew it wasn't going any further we both knew 854 00:44:01,881 --> 00:44:04,201 I think at the end of the day we would be happier 855 00:44:04,201 --> 00:44:05,641 leading our own lives. 856 00:44:05,641 --> 00:44:09,481 Whether that involved other people, you know was to be seen. 857 00:44:09,481 --> 00:44:13,921 But no, you've got to bear in mind we had no children 858 00:44:13,921 --> 00:44:17,281 to worry about so really the only people 859 00:44:17,281 --> 00:44:19,081 that were getting hurt by us was us. 860 00:44:20,001 --> 00:44:23,921 - If I could have 2 girls and 2 boys. 861 00:44:25,201 --> 00:44:26,961 - And what about you Jackie? 862 00:44:26,961 --> 00:44:30,041 - My mom, cause she got five girls she has 863 00:44:30,961 --> 00:44:32,641 seven years bad luck, 864 00:44:32,641 --> 00:44:35,041 that's why she's got five girls. 865 00:44:35,041 --> 00:44:38,401 I'd like to be able to have a happy family, 866 00:44:39,441 --> 00:44:42,401 I mean I know it's not possible to be happy all the time 867 00:44:42,401 --> 00:44:44,521 but as much of the time that was possible. 868 00:44:45,561 --> 00:44:48,961 Go through there, that's the nursery, hah hah. 869 00:44:48,961 --> 00:44:50,001 - Got any plans? 870 00:44:50,001 --> 00:44:50,841 - Do me a favour? 871 00:44:50,841 --> 00:44:53,801 - At 21 Jackie had moved into a new house. 872 00:44:53,801 --> 00:44:57,481 By the time she was 28 she had decided not to have children. 873 00:44:57,481 --> 00:45:00,121 - Basically I would say because I'm far too selfish 874 00:45:01,401 --> 00:45:04,841 and I enjoy doing what I want when I want and how I want 875 00:45:04,841 --> 00:45:09,841 and certainly at the moment I can't see any way around that. 876 00:45:12,561 --> 00:45:15,841 That's not to say that's a forever decision. 877 00:45:20,161 --> 00:45:22,961 This one on, here we go, oh yeah, yes. 878 00:45:25,121 --> 00:45:27,401 I had a brief but very sweet relationship, 879 00:45:27,401 --> 00:45:29,081 the result of which was Charlie. 880 00:45:29,081 --> 00:45:31,241 Cor blimey, Charlie, you're supposed to clean your teeth, 881 00:45:31,241 --> 00:45:32,321 not eating the brush. 882 00:45:32,321 --> 00:45:34,601 It's the best thing that could've happened to me 883 00:45:34,601 --> 00:45:37,441 and I would never have believed I could've 884 00:45:37,441 --> 00:45:39,961 enjoyed a child as much as I enjoy him. 885 00:45:39,961 --> 00:45:43,161 I actually sat down and sort of thought 886 00:45:43,161 --> 00:45:47,561 about should I have him or not. 887 00:45:47,561 --> 00:45:51,161 I thought about what I was going to do if I did have him. 888 00:45:51,161 --> 00:45:52,801 How I was going to keep him. 889 00:45:54,241 --> 00:45:57,001 But it comes back to the same old story, the family. 890 00:46:02,241 --> 00:46:06,281 My fathers only comment to me was it is your decision, 891 00:46:06,281 --> 00:46:08,961 you tell me what you want to do 892 00:46:08,961 --> 00:46:11,321 and then we'll take it from there. 893 00:46:11,321 --> 00:46:13,281 And they've totally rallied around me. 894 00:46:14,161 --> 00:46:16,721 Anybody that wanted to know just got told I was pregnant 895 00:46:16,721 --> 00:46:18,961 I wasn't with the father, end of story. 896 00:46:20,281 --> 00:46:22,001 People that know me know the full story 897 00:46:22,001 --> 00:46:23,321 and that's all that matters to me. 898 00:46:23,321 --> 00:46:25,721 And Charlie will know when he gets older. 899 00:46:26,961 --> 00:46:29,441 - When I got married the primary reason was 900 00:46:29,441 --> 00:46:32,041 because I wanted to have a child, 901 00:46:32,041 --> 00:46:33,921 the two to me went together. 902 00:46:35,881 --> 00:46:37,721 - Why did you have a child out 903 00:46:37,721 --> 00:46:39,321 of a marriage that wasn't working? 904 00:46:39,321 --> 00:46:42,481 - Because I wanted to have more than one child 905 00:46:42,481 --> 00:46:44,961 and it was a thing about being an only child myself. 906 00:46:44,961 --> 00:46:48,761 I was always jealous of other children that had brothers 907 00:46:48,761 --> 00:46:51,561 and sisters when I was growing up and I didn't want 908 00:46:51,561 --> 00:46:54,801 to have more than one child with two different fathers. 909 00:46:54,801 --> 00:46:57,201 I think that brother and sister should have the 910 00:46:57,201 --> 00:46:59,761 same mother and the same father, that is my ideal. 911 00:47:02,641 --> 00:47:05,041 I would hate to think it was tough on the kids. 912 00:47:06,761 --> 00:47:10,081 William used to say why isn't daddy living here any more 913 00:47:10,081 --> 00:47:12,641 and I would say to him, well you know how you 914 00:47:12,641 --> 00:47:17,081 and Katherine argue and get on each others nerves, 915 00:47:17,081 --> 00:47:20,481 well that's how daddy and I are we just find 916 00:47:20,481 --> 00:47:24,321 that we're happier if were not living in the same house. 917 00:47:24,321 --> 00:47:26,481 - I'm going to work in Woolworths. 918 00:47:27,561 --> 00:47:30,961 - At 21 Lynn was working in a mobile library 919 00:47:30,961 --> 00:47:32,801 in Tower Hamlets in East London. 920 00:47:34,401 --> 00:47:37,001 - I've not stamped yours, Sleeping Beauty. 921 00:47:38,161 --> 00:47:42,081 Teaching children the beauty of books 922 00:47:42,081 --> 00:47:45,441 and watching their faces as books unfold 923 00:47:45,441 --> 00:47:48,081 to them is just fantastic. 924 00:47:48,081 --> 00:47:49,601 To work with children of that age you've got 925 00:47:49,601 --> 00:47:51,521 to love them and I love children. 926 00:47:52,601 --> 00:47:55,241 The last 10 years of government have actually 927 00:47:57,281 --> 00:47:59,321 in my opinion brought this country 928 00:47:59,321 --> 00:48:01,401 much much further downhill. 929 00:48:02,721 --> 00:48:05,721 We have lost an awful lot of our National Health Service, 930 00:48:06,641 --> 00:48:09,321 an awful lot of our education system. 931 00:48:09,321 --> 00:48:13,001 I'm actually on the governing body of two schools 932 00:48:14,201 --> 00:48:15,881 and I want the best for those kids 933 00:48:19,081 --> 00:48:21,081 that the system can provide. 934 00:48:21,921 --> 00:48:22,841 And if the systems not good enough, 935 00:48:22,841 --> 00:48:24,921 then we better the system. 936 00:48:24,921 --> 00:48:26,601 What would you do if you had lots of money, 937 00:48:26,601 --> 00:48:29,081 about two pounds? 938 00:48:30,081 --> 00:48:33,161 - I would buy myself a house a new house, 939 00:48:33,161 --> 00:48:37,321 you know, one that's all nice and comfy. 940 00:48:37,321 --> 00:48:39,121 - Do you get depressed by money problems? 941 00:48:39,961 --> 00:48:41,961 - No, why, why should you? 942 00:48:43,201 --> 00:48:44,721 If you can manage on what you've got. 943 00:48:44,721 --> 00:48:45,561 - It's easy to get depressed over money. 944 00:48:45,561 --> 00:48:48,721 - It's so easy to but why should you? 945 00:48:48,721 --> 00:48:51,401 - When we've reached the 18th day of the month 946 00:48:51,401 --> 00:48:52,881 and my mortgage is due on the 20th 947 00:48:52,881 --> 00:48:54,481 and there's nowhere near enough money in there 948 00:48:54,481 --> 00:48:56,321 I get depressed about it obviously. 949 00:48:57,241 --> 00:48:58,041 What money? 950 00:48:59,241 --> 00:49:01,601 - It was hard first of all when I gave up work 951 00:49:01,601 --> 00:49:06,601 from having a fairly high salary to nothing was hard but 952 00:49:08,481 --> 00:49:11,081 you get used to whatever your circumstances are, 953 00:49:12,001 --> 00:49:13,641 you live in them, you get used to them 954 00:49:13,641 --> 00:49:15,641 and you cope, everybody does. 955 00:49:16,961 --> 00:49:20,041 - Sue now works part-time for a Building Society. 956 00:49:20,961 --> 00:49:22,361 - Everything's changed for me cause I'm now 957 00:49:22,361 --> 00:49:26,681 supporting myself a lot more than I was a year ago. 958 00:49:26,681 --> 00:49:27,521 - How did you feel 959 00:49:27,521 --> 00:49:29,361 about living off Social Security? 960 00:49:29,361 --> 00:49:31,161 - I hated it, really hated it. 961 00:49:31,161 --> 00:49:33,321 Perhaps it's old fashioned values, I mean, 962 00:49:33,321 --> 00:49:36,041 Mom and Dad have certainly never been in that situation 963 00:49:36,041 --> 00:49:38,481 but then my mom and dad have never been single parents 964 00:49:38,481 --> 00:49:41,401 either so you have to do what's 965 00:49:41,401 --> 00:49:43,361 best for you and the children. 966 00:49:43,361 --> 00:49:44,561 - Thanks very much. 967 00:49:44,561 --> 00:49:45,801 - Bye. - Bye. 968 00:49:47,561 --> 00:49:50,001 - I took a year off when I had Charlie 969 00:49:50,001 --> 00:49:52,561 and the state kept me for that year 970 00:49:52,561 --> 00:49:55,081 but I went back to work and although 971 00:49:55,081 --> 00:49:58,241 to be honest at the time I pay everything out I'm not 972 00:49:58,241 --> 00:50:00,201 that much better off but I feel better. 973 00:50:01,321 --> 00:50:03,881 You take it from there, can I get through this week 974 00:50:03,881 --> 00:50:05,601 or can I get through this month? 975 00:50:05,601 --> 00:50:08,081 Can I get Charlie the things he needs? 976 00:50:08,081 --> 00:50:10,481 Somewhere along the line you get the money you need 977 00:50:10,481 --> 00:50:15,321 for whatever you need and as it goes at the moment we're 978 00:50:15,321 --> 00:50:18,321 working and were trying to keep our families as best we can. 979 00:50:23,761 --> 00:50:26,121 ♪If I said that I love you. ♪ 980 00:50:26,121 --> 00:50:27,321 - Why is it that you three 981 00:50:27,321 --> 00:50:29,041 haven't changed so much do you think? 982 00:50:29,041 --> 00:50:31,721 - Perhaps we haven't grown up. 983 00:50:31,721 --> 00:50:34,081 - We've all had a stable background 984 00:50:34,081 --> 00:50:36,561 with stable relationships all the way through. 985 00:50:38,481 --> 00:50:41,401 - The same people are there now that were there then. 986 00:50:41,401 --> 00:50:42,681 - She initially went into hospital 987 00:50:42,681 --> 00:50:46,121 for an exploratory operation, they found out she had 988 00:50:46,121 --> 00:50:50,081 cancer although at that stage we didn't know how bad it was. 989 00:50:51,961 --> 00:50:56,521 She was ill at the time, they started chemotherapy 990 00:50:57,601 --> 00:51:02,601 and radiation treatment and she was just so bad. 991 00:51:03,801 --> 00:51:06,481 Mom badly wanted to come back to the family 992 00:51:06,481 --> 00:51:08,241 and the family needed her here. 993 00:51:10,321 --> 00:51:13,761 She then spent nine months of hell 994 00:51:14,881 --> 00:51:16,721 I wouldn't have wished on anybody. 995 00:51:21,401 --> 00:51:26,401 - She sat down on the settee and she died, just like that. 996 00:51:27,961 --> 00:51:30,681 And we were up in Norfolk with my in-laws at the time. 997 00:51:31,881 --> 00:51:35,201 And so all we got was a phone call from Dad 998 00:51:35,201 --> 00:51:38,521 to say that mom had died. 999 00:51:41,161 --> 00:51:42,761 - And how did you deal with it? 1000 00:51:42,761 --> 00:51:44,361 - I'm still dealing with it now. 1001 00:51:55,561 --> 00:51:58,241 But then although she's not with us in body 1002 00:51:58,241 --> 00:51:59,721 she's still with us in spirit. 1003 00:52:04,841 --> 00:52:07,321 She was a great friend to me as well as a mom, 1004 00:52:07,321 --> 00:52:09,321 probably the best friend I'll ever have. 1005 00:52:11,321 --> 00:52:12,561 And as you see it still makes me 1006 00:52:12,561 --> 00:52:15,241 very emotional now, it's only 2 years. 1007 00:52:17,281 --> 00:52:19,841 To some it's probably seems oh it's a long time 1008 00:52:21,401 --> 00:52:23,321 but it's not very long. 1009 00:52:24,561 --> 00:52:26,881 - The poor, if you don't help them 1010 00:52:27,081 --> 00:52:29,961 they probably die soon wouldn't they. 1011 00:52:30,001 --> 00:52:30,801 - Some people are just born into 1012 00:52:30,801 --> 00:52:32,401 rich families and they're lucky. 1013 00:52:33,361 --> 00:52:34,921 - I don't see why they should have the luck when people 1014 00:52:34,921 --> 00:52:37,641 have worked all their lives and haven't got half as much 1015 00:52:37,641 --> 00:52:39,041 as what they have. 1016 00:52:39,041 --> 00:52:40,481 It just don't seem fair. 1017 00:52:40,481 --> 00:52:43,601 We only had a limited choice any way, truth be told. 1018 00:52:43,601 --> 00:52:46,601 We didn't have the choice of education 1019 00:52:46,601 --> 00:52:48,801 because they couldn't have afforded it anyway so we 1020 00:52:48,801 --> 00:52:50,881 just went to the school we wanted to go to 1021 00:52:50,881 --> 00:52:52,881 and we made the best of it when we were there. 1022 00:52:52,881 --> 00:52:55,841 That is something perhaps when it comes to our children 1023 00:52:55,841 --> 00:52:58,241 that we would say why not go further? 1024 00:52:58,241 --> 00:53:01,241 - All I am interested in and probably the same as 1025 00:53:01,241 --> 00:53:03,921 the other two is what is good for me, 1026 00:53:03,921 --> 00:53:06,761 what is good for my son and that's it. 1027 00:53:08,761 --> 00:53:12,001 I don't sit there envying maybe what Suzi could do for her 1028 00:53:12,001 --> 00:53:13,521 children that I can't do for mine. 1029 00:53:13,521 --> 00:53:17,881 Yes, I'd love the money to be able to put him all round 1030 00:53:17,881 --> 00:53:19,961 the world, I'd love to be able to do that 1031 00:53:19,961 --> 00:53:21,081 but I haven't got it. 1032 00:53:21,081 --> 00:53:24,321 And at the end of the day I'm going to do what I can. 1033 00:53:26,201 --> 00:53:28,081 At this precise moment in time is probably one 1034 00:53:28,081 --> 00:53:30,641 of the best times of my life. 1035 00:53:30,641 --> 00:53:33,081 Come here, come and put your top on. 1036 00:53:33,081 --> 00:53:35,401 I think probably because I've got Charlie, 1037 00:53:35,401 --> 00:53:38,921 he's totally transformed my life a lot of the times 1038 00:53:38,921 --> 00:53:41,841 I obviously pull my hair out but certainly for the better. 1039 00:53:42,801 --> 00:53:44,961 So yes, I'm a lot happier within myself. 1040 00:53:46,041 --> 00:53:47,961 People around me have noticed that. 1041 00:53:47,961 --> 00:53:49,321 So it's a good time for me. 1042 00:53:50,561 --> 00:53:52,001 Give us a cuddle. 1043 00:53:52,001 --> 00:53:54,481 I don't really want Charlie to be an only, 1044 00:53:54,481 --> 00:53:56,681 I'd love him to have brothers and sisters, 1045 00:53:56,681 --> 00:53:58,161 but not necessarily loads of them, 1046 00:53:58,161 --> 00:54:00,721 just one would do actually. 1047 00:54:02,121 --> 00:54:03,601 I think Charlie would like that as well. 1048 00:54:04,721 --> 00:54:05,841 I think Charlie would love it. 1049 00:54:08,001 --> 00:54:10,761 - A year ago Lynn started having black outs, 1050 00:54:10,761 --> 00:54:12,721 she took medical advice. 1051 00:54:12,721 --> 00:54:15,801 - They stuck all these tubes up inside me 1052 00:54:15,801 --> 00:54:18,001 and discovered that I'd got these veins here 1053 00:54:19,561 --> 00:54:20,761 that shouldn't be there. 1054 00:54:21,721 --> 00:54:22,521 - In your brain? 1055 00:54:22,521 --> 00:54:23,361 - Mm-hmm. 1056 00:54:24,241 --> 00:54:25,961 - And what can they do about it? 1057 00:54:25,961 --> 00:54:27,561 - Not a lot at the moment. 1058 00:54:27,561 --> 00:54:29,681 They're investigating other... 1059 00:54:32,361 --> 00:54:34,801 treatments but the surgeon 1060 00:54:34,961 --> 00:54:39,961 said that he doesn't want to operate at the moment 1061 00:54:39,961 --> 00:54:42,881 because the risk it's too near the optic nerve 1062 00:54:42,881 --> 00:54:45,521 and there's an 80% chance of hitting the optic nerve. 1063 00:54:47,281 --> 00:54:48,401 - So is it frightening to know 1064 00:54:48,401 --> 00:54:49,881 that you have this condition? 1065 00:54:49,881 --> 00:54:54,081 - It was for about a week but it got itself 1066 00:54:54,081 --> 00:54:58,961 into its own place within my system where sort of 1067 00:54:58,961 --> 00:55:02,481 amongst my rungs of priorities 1068 00:55:03,441 --> 00:55:05,401 and I overcame the fear of it, 1069 00:55:05,401 --> 00:55:06,961 now it doesn't worry me at all. 1070 00:55:09,921 --> 00:55:12,201 - We've all got little secret dreams. 1071 00:55:12,201 --> 00:55:17,041 I mean I loved drama at school, I loved to sing, 1072 00:55:17,041 --> 00:55:18,401 along with millions of others, 1073 00:55:18,401 --> 00:55:21,401 so I would like to have carried that further. 1074 00:55:21,401 --> 00:55:23,841 It was discussed at one stage, you know going 1075 00:55:23,841 --> 00:55:27,361 to drama school and pursuing it but I really 1076 00:55:27,361 --> 00:55:29,361 at the time didn't have the bottle. 1077 00:55:29,361 --> 00:55:34,361 Didn't want to give up work and income as a young person. 1078 00:55:34,881 --> 00:55:37,481 I was quite enjoying myself. 1079 00:55:37,481 --> 00:55:40,921 Didn't want to risk all that to follow the dream. 1080 00:55:44,081 --> 00:55:45,961 - So are these good times Sue? 1081 00:55:45,961 --> 00:55:48,241 - Not particularly no. 1082 00:55:48,241 --> 00:55:50,561 I've got two lovely children now 1083 00:55:50,561 --> 00:55:51,561 but it's just another crossroads for me now. 1084 00:55:51,561 --> 00:55:52,681 I don't know which way I'm going to go, 1085 00:55:52,681 --> 00:55:53,801 whats going to happen. 1086 00:55:54,801 --> 00:55:57,721 I'm on my own basically, I'm starting again. 1087 00:55:59,401 --> 00:56:00,281 - Are you changing? 1088 00:56:00,281 --> 00:56:01,801 - I'm just growing up. 1089 00:56:02,681 --> 00:56:05,041 I don't think you ever stop growing up the circumstances 1090 00:56:05,041 --> 00:56:07,721 are changing so I'm just adapting. 1091 00:56:11,801 --> 00:56:15,641 - When I grow up I'd like to find out all 1092 00:56:15,641 --> 00:56:18,321 about the moon and all that. 1093 00:56:18,321 --> 00:56:21,401 - At 7 Nick a farmers son was at a 1094 00:56:21,401 --> 00:56:24,081 one room village school in the Yorkshire Dales. 1095 00:56:26,241 --> 00:56:28,441 - I said I was interested in physics and chemistry well 1096 00:56:28,441 --> 00:56:29,881 I'm not going to do that here. 1097 00:56:29,881 --> 00:56:31,801 - At 14 he was going to a Yorkshire 1098 00:56:31,801 --> 00:56:35,961 boarding school and at 21 was reading physics at Oxford. 1099 00:56:35,961 --> 00:56:38,121 So what career are you going to pursue? 1100 00:56:38,121 --> 00:56:40,281 - It depends whether I'll be good enough to do 1101 00:56:40,281 --> 00:56:41,841 what I really want to do. 1102 00:56:43,241 --> 00:56:47,721 I would like if I can to do research. 1103 00:56:47,721 --> 00:56:50,481 The gap in these experiments is a temperature 1104 00:56:50,481 --> 00:56:52,121 comparable with that of the sun whereas 1105 00:56:52,121 --> 00:56:54,361 in a power reactor it would be maybe 10 times 1106 00:56:54,361 --> 00:56:55,681 the temperature of the sun. 1107 00:56:55,681 --> 00:56:58,241 - At 28 he had moved to America 1108 00:56:58,241 --> 00:56:59,681 and was doing nuclear research 1109 00:56:59,681 --> 00:57:01,441 at the University of Wisconsin. 1110 00:57:01,441 --> 00:57:02,721 So how's it going Rich, 1111 00:57:02,721 --> 00:57:04,321 tell me about the current drive. 1112 00:57:06,841 --> 00:57:08,961 Ok so your all looking at this thing expectantly 1113 00:57:08,961 --> 00:57:11,161 so maybe I'd better say something about it. 1114 00:57:11,161 --> 00:57:14,401 The first one is basically saying that the rate of change 1115 00:57:14,401 --> 00:57:18,241 of crystal momentum, it's DDT at this quantity H bar K. 1116 00:57:19,481 --> 00:57:22,001 That is equal to Laurent's Force. 1117 00:57:22,001 --> 00:57:23,001 - He is now an associate 1118 00:57:23,001 --> 00:57:24,641 professor at the University. 1119 00:57:26,681 --> 00:57:28,241 Is Madison a friendly place? 1120 00:57:28,241 --> 00:57:29,641 - Yes very friendly. 1121 00:57:29,641 --> 00:57:33,321 It's a fairly small little community and you get deer 1122 00:57:33,321 --> 00:57:35,841 and things running through here so it's kinda nice. 1123 00:57:36,761 --> 00:57:39,241 You know you notice if you walk into a shop here 1124 00:57:39,241 --> 00:57:40,881 or a store as they would call it, 1125 00:57:40,881 --> 00:57:43,841 people are much more polite to you than they are in England. 1126 00:57:43,841 --> 00:57:46,641 And it's not in a it's not just a matter 1127 00:57:46,641 --> 00:57:49,721 of being obsequious, they just try 1128 00:57:49,721 --> 00:57:52,001 and be reasonably friendly and smile at you. 1129 00:57:52,001 --> 00:57:53,601 - Do you have a girlfriend? 1130 00:57:57,801 --> 00:58:00,561 - I don't want to answer that, 1131 00:58:00,561 --> 00:58:04,801 I don't answer those kind of questions. 1132 00:58:06,641 --> 00:58:09,041 I thought that one would come up because when I was, 1133 00:58:09,921 --> 00:58:11,921 when I was doing the other one somebody said 1134 00:58:11,921 --> 00:58:13,321 what do you think about girls 1135 00:58:13,321 --> 00:58:15,001 and I said I don't answer questions like that. 1136 00:58:15,001 --> 00:58:16,801 Is that the reason you're asking it? 1137 00:58:17,801 --> 00:58:19,321 Yeah I thought so. 1138 00:58:22,801 --> 00:58:24,401 The best answer would be to say 1139 00:58:24,401 --> 00:58:26,361 that I don't answer questions like that 1140 00:58:28,001 --> 00:58:30,281 but you know it's what I said when I was seven 1141 00:58:30,281 --> 00:58:31,201 and it's still the most sensible 1142 00:58:31,201 --> 00:58:34,081 but I mean, what about them. 1143 00:58:34,081 --> 00:58:36,801 - Nick was only 17 when I first met him 1144 00:58:36,801 --> 00:58:39,641 and I knew he was a nice person. 1145 00:58:39,641 --> 00:58:44,641 I find him very attractive and he used his intelligence 1146 00:58:45,441 --> 00:58:48,361 in his relationship with me which is very important. 1147 00:58:48,361 --> 00:58:53,361 - She felt that she wasn't portrayed at all like she is 1148 00:58:53,881 --> 00:58:57,001 and that she felt foolish as a result of it all. 1149 00:58:57,881 --> 00:59:01,281 She was really taken by surprise by how she came over 1150 00:59:01,281 --> 00:59:06,281 and she really wasn't sure why she came over that way 1151 00:59:06,921 --> 00:59:10,561 but she was very unhappy with everybody involved 1152 00:59:10,561 --> 00:59:14,721 and so didn't want to be in that position again. 1153 00:59:14,721 --> 00:59:15,881 - Is she difficult? 1154 00:59:15,881 --> 00:59:17,561 - At times yes. 1155 00:59:17,561 --> 00:59:19,521 Whenever we have an argument she does have a tendency 1156 00:59:19,521 --> 00:59:23,601 to explode I suppose to get, no to get really miserable. 1157 00:59:25,641 --> 00:59:29,561 - We've only been married 4 years, anything could happen, 1158 00:59:29,561 --> 00:59:30,841 we could easily drift apart, 1159 00:59:30,841 --> 00:59:34,361 there are so many pressures on people you just. 1160 00:59:34,361 --> 00:59:35,721 - People saw the last film 1161 00:59:35,721 --> 00:59:38,201 and thought this marriage isn't going to work, 1162 00:59:38,201 --> 00:59:39,841 this marriage isn't going to last, 1163 00:59:39,841 --> 00:59:42,081 did you get that response? 1164 00:59:42,081 --> 00:59:44,561 - Well, it's actually such a mystery to me 1165 00:59:44,561 --> 00:59:46,401 what they thought they were talking about 1166 00:59:46,401 --> 00:59:48,881 that I really just don't relate to it at all. 1167 00:59:48,881 --> 00:59:50,961 I have no, I just don't why they said that, 1168 00:59:50,961 --> 00:59:55,961 I mean the sorts of things you were seeing was us trying 1169 00:59:56,641 --> 00:59:59,441 to be very honest about it. 1170 00:59:59,441 --> 01:00:01,561 That may have been the place 1171 01:00:01,561 --> 01:00:04,601 in 28 where we probably were working hardest 1172 01:00:04,601 --> 01:00:07,201 about really describing what things were like instead of 1173 01:00:07,201 --> 01:00:11,281 I was just saying I sometimes just am very dull 1174 01:00:11,281 --> 01:00:14,401 and neutral and show too much of myself. 1175 01:00:14,401 --> 01:00:16,641 Well in that I think we were just trying to be really 1176 01:00:16,641 --> 01:00:19,721 upfront and say this is what it's like and we're working 1177 01:00:19,721 --> 01:00:22,441 very hard at it and hopefully it'll work out. 1178 01:00:23,521 --> 01:00:27,721 If that sounds to somebody like it's in jeopardy 1179 01:00:27,721 --> 01:00:30,801 well that's their problem. 1180 01:00:32,121 --> 01:00:34,121 - The big issue for us at the moment 1181 01:00:34,121 --> 01:00:39,121 is how were going to manage to have kids and run 2 careers. 1182 01:00:39,441 --> 01:00:40,641 - In those early formative years 1183 01:00:40,641 --> 01:00:41,481 would you be happy 1184 01:00:41,481 --> 01:00:44,041 for your children to be brought up by Jackie 1185 01:00:44,041 --> 01:00:46,921 and Jackie not to be able to give them the full attention? 1186 01:00:46,921 --> 01:00:48,441 - Well it's not I mean that's putting it 1187 01:00:48,441 --> 01:00:49,841 in a rather strange way, - That's him, he's bringing 1188 01:00:49,841 --> 01:00:50,721 them up too you know. - I mean this is an area, 1189 01:00:50,721 --> 01:00:52,321 - It's not just me. 1190 01:00:53,241 --> 01:00:55,881 - I pay lip service to the idea of equal shares on this 1191 01:00:55,881 --> 01:00:57,401 and it remains to be seen whether I would 1192 01:00:57,401 --> 01:00:59,161 actually live up to my intentions. 1193 01:00:59,161 --> 01:01:00,721 - There are several things I think to be said here, 1194 01:01:00,721 --> 01:01:03,521 I don't want to be the person to be left behind 1195 01:01:03,521 --> 01:01:06,881 while Nick flies in and shares an adult life 1196 01:01:06,881 --> 01:01:09,441 with his children at college and working. 1197 01:01:09,441 --> 01:01:11,441 I want to be there too. 1198 01:01:13,041 --> 01:01:16,081 - Nick and Jackie now have a 1 year old son Adam. 1199 01:01:16,081 --> 01:01:20,401 - On the subject of Adam, I enjoy doing this 1200 01:01:20,401 --> 01:01:22,761 for the most part but I don't want the sins of the father 1201 01:01:22,761 --> 01:01:25,881 to be visited on the son in this case so we've sort of 1202 01:01:25,881 --> 01:01:28,841 decided that we want to keep him out of this 1203 01:01:28,841 --> 01:01:31,001 to some extent, well to some extent 1204 01:01:31,001 --> 01:01:33,121 essentially all together. 1205 01:01:33,121 --> 01:01:36,961 When I grow up I'd like to find out all 1206 01:01:36,961 --> 01:01:39,641 about the moon and all that. 1207 01:01:39,641 --> 01:01:41,961 - Where did you get all this brain power? 1208 01:01:42,921 --> 01:01:45,801 - All this brain power, I don't know. 1209 01:01:45,801 --> 01:01:48,041 This is one that we were quite proud of, 1210 01:01:48,041 --> 01:01:50,881 glow discharges between a couple of metal plates 1211 01:01:50,881 --> 01:01:53,121 where there's an ionised gas in between. 1212 01:01:53,121 --> 01:01:55,721 I suppose I'm very ambitious in terms of trying 1213 01:01:55,721 --> 01:01:59,001 to get my research to go forward. 1214 01:01:59,001 --> 01:02:02,121 I'm also trying to train students so that 1215 01:02:02,121 --> 01:02:04,201 they can actually acquire some useful skills 1216 01:02:04,201 --> 01:02:07,001 and can go out and just be really useful contributors 1217 01:02:07,001 --> 01:02:09,841 themselves and push back the frontiers of 1218 01:02:09,841 --> 01:02:11,321 what we're capable of doing. 1219 01:02:12,401 --> 01:02:15,161 They'd like to come out for a holiday 1220 01:02:15,161 --> 01:02:17,241 in the country when we'd like, 1221 01:02:17,241 --> 01:02:19,841 when I'd like to have a holiday in the town. 1222 01:02:20,841 --> 01:02:22,521 I've been to Leeds a couple of times 1223 01:02:22,521 --> 01:02:25,841 and haven't been to Manchester. 1224 01:02:30,601 --> 01:02:33,241 I went to London with the other programme, 1225 01:02:34,641 --> 01:02:35,601 when you did the first programme, 1226 01:02:35,601 --> 01:02:37,881 but that's the only time I've been. 1227 01:02:37,881 --> 01:02:42,281 In my position I don't feel that I'm letting England 1228 01:02:42,281 --> 01:02:44,761 down because I don't think that England particularly 1229 01:02:44,761 --> 01:02:47,841 wanted me there doing what I was doing. 1230 01:02:47,841 --> 01:02:49,561 So how can I feel that I'm betraying a country 1231 01:02:49,561 --> 01:02:52,841 when it doesn't want me to do what it's trained me to do? 1232 01:02:54,321 --> 01:02:55,241 - Do you get lonely here? 1233 01:02:56,241 --> 01:02:59,161 - You just tend to get stuck into your everyday routine 1234 01:02:59,161 --> 01:03:02,881 and you don't think about it but when you call home 1235 01:03:02,881 --> 01:03:07,641 then you realise how far away you are and now it seems 1236 01:03:07,641 --> 01:03:09,841 acute because both our families are 1237 01:03:09,841 --> 01:03:12,881 getting older even if you think in terms 1238 01:03:12,881 --> 01:03:16,401 of seeing them once every two years. 1239 01:03:17,241 --> 01:03:18,081 - That's not so many times. 1240 01:03:18,081 --> 01:03:20,201 - You're thinking only about 10 times 1241 01:03:20,201 --> 01:03:22,761 and that's awful when you think in those terms 1242 01:03:22,761 --> 01:03:25,401 you realise you really are in exile. 1243 01:03:27,041 --> 01:03:28,641 - Do you miss England? 1244 01:03:28,641 --> 01:03:29,961 - An awful lot yeah. 1245 01:03:31,281 --> 01:03:34,281 My parents managed to get over here a couple of times 1246 01:03:34,281 --> 01:03:36,761 in the last two years and Andrew my middle brother 1247 01:03:36,761 --> 01:03:39,161 was here about two years ago so that's 1248 01:03:39,161 --> 01:03:41,601 pretty good going in way that they got over here. 1249 01:03:45,121 --> 01:03:47,681 Christopher is the brother who is deaf as you know 1250 01:03:47,681 --> 01:03:50,001 and his language skills are getting better 1251 01:03:50,001 --> 01:03:52,601 but be certainly didn't get a flying start 1252 01:03:52,601 --> 01:03:55,081 from the education system that he went through 1253 01:03:55,081 --> 01:03:58,241 so you know he really is still getting to the point 1254 01:03:58,241 --> 01:04:02,441 where you know, he can't hear essentially 1255 01:04:02,441 --> 01:04:04,041 at all so you can't really have a conversation 1256 01:04:04,041 --> 01:04:04,881 with him on the phone. 1257 01:04:04,881 --> 01:04:06,801 He'll get on the phone and tell you 1258 01:04:06,801 --> 01:04:08,481 a bunch of stuff and you can understand 1259 01:04:08,481 --> 01:04:10,921 most of it so that's really nice. 1260 01:04:10,921 --> 01:04:13,361 - Is it painful for you? 1261 01:04:13,361 --> 01:04:16,721 - Well the thing that was emotional to think back on 1262 01:04:16,721 --> 01:04:19,801 was the situation when he was probably a year old 1263 01:04:19,801 --> 01:04:22,001 and it was really becoming clear to everybody 1264 01:04:22,001 --> 01:04:25,561 that despite the fact that his doctor 1265 01:04:25,561 --> 01:04:28,401 has originally insisted no he wasn't deaf 1266 01:04:28,401 --> 01:04:30,841 that it became pretty clear that he was. 1267 01:04:30,841 --> 01:04:34,561 And you know at the time I just desperately was 1268 01:04:34,561 --> 01:04:38,921 hoping it wouldn't be true, that somehow some 1269 01:04:38,921 --> 01:04:41,241 sort of miracle would happen and he would turn out 1270 01:04:41,241 --> 01:04:46,001 not to be, so but then I told myself well if he weren't then 1271 01:04:46,001 --> 01:04:47,961 he wouldn't be the same person and it would be wishing 1272 01:04:47,961 --> 01:04:49,841 that the person didn't exist so 1273 01:04:50,721 --> 01:04:54,081 that wasn't the appropriate way to think about it. 1274 01:04:59,041 --> 01:05:01,761 - Do you think you can build a life here? 1275 01:05:03,241 --> 01:05:05,121 - Well you know, one is trying to 1276 01:05:05,121 --> 01:05:07,881 but it is very difficult being in a place where 1277 01:05:07,881 --> 01:05:11,641 you're a long way away from all your background 1278 01:05:11,641 --> 01:05:13,641 and you don't have any sort of support network. 1279 01:05:13,641 --> 01:05:17,721 It really does, I mean you have to fend for yourself, 1280 01:05:17,721 --> 01:05:20,401 you keep thinking for yourself, 1281 01:05:20,401 --> 01:05:21,841 you're really being called on 1282 01:05:22,881 --> 01:05:24,961 to show pioneer spirit every now and again it seems. 1283 01:05:27,801 --> 01:05:28,641 It don't have this urge that you 1284 01:05:28,641 --> 01:05:31,001 sometimes hear people saying that I want my child 1285 01:05:31,001 --> 01:05:32,161 to have all the things that I didn't. 1286 01:05:32,161 --> 01:05:35,081 I don't look back and think I was deprived. 1287 01:05:35,081 --> 01:05:38,601 There were things that I had in a certain sense 1288 01:05:38,601 --> 01:05:40,841 as a child which were not material things 1289 01:05:40,841 --> 01:05:45,561 that I had but situations I was in and experiences 1290 01:05:45,561 --> 01:05:48,281 that most children wouldn't have growing up 1291 01:05:48,281 --> 01:05:50,881 on a farm and actually working on a farm 1292 01:05:50,881 --> 01:05:53,081 and being in a situation of being told, 1293 01:05:53,081 --> 01:05:56,161 clean out that calf shed really has made me 1294 01:05:56,161 --> 01:05:58,561 very determined to get things done 1295 01:05:58,561 --> 01:06:01,201 and not give up half way through something. 1296 01:06:01,201 --> 01:06:04,961 It develops a streak of stubbornness that can be useful now. 1297 01:06:04,961 --> 01:06:07,281 The trouble with me is that I tend to take the streak of 1298 01:06:07,281 --> 01:06:12,281 stubbornness too far I have to try and mellow out a bit. 1299 01:06:15,361 --> 01:06:16,401 - Have you travelled a long way since 1300 01:06:16,401 --> 01:06:19,761 that seven year old in his big muddy boots? 1301 01:06:19,761 --> 01:06:22,241 - I suppose an awful long way yes. 1302 01:06:22,241 --> 01:06:25,361 I mean I'm sure there's lot of the same personality 1303 01:06:25,361 --> 01:06:27,641 that was in there is still here. 1304 01:06:27,641 --> 01:06:29,801 Still easily embarrassed and confused. 1305 01:06:30,601 --> 01:06:34,481 I mean I think that you can see the saying give 1306 01:06:34,481 --> 01:06:38,881 the boy until he is seven, I'm quite prepared to accept 1307 01:06:38,881 --> 01:06:40,881 there's a lot in that. 1308 01:06:40,881 --> 01:06:44,961 If you could look at me at seven and see through the 1309 01:06:44,961 --> 01:06:46,801 sort of superficial things and the silly things 1310 01:06:46,801 --> 01:06:49,921 I was saying you could see what made the child tick, 1311 01:06:49,921 --> 01:06:51,401 there was probably an awful lot in 1312 01:06:51,401 --> 01:06:52,721 there that's here now yes. 1313 01:06:58,441 --> 01:07:01,521 - I read the Financial Times. 1314 01:07:01,521 --> 01:07:04,201 - I read the Observer and the Times. 1315 01:07:04,201 --> 01:07:06,761 - What do you like about it? 1316 01:07:06,761 --> 01:07:09,641 - Well I like, I usually look at the headlines 1317 01:07:09,641 --> 01:07:14,001 and then read about them, about it. 1318 01:07:14,801 --> 01:07:17,161 - What's the point of the programme? 1319 01:07:18,361 --> 01:07:20,841 - The point of the programme is to reach a comparison. 1320 01:07:20,841 --> 01:07:21,841 I don't think it is. 1321 01:07:23,641 --> 01:07:25,441 We're not necessarily typical examples. 1322 01:07:25,441 --> 01:07:26,961 - And I think that's what people seeing 1323 01:07:26,961 --> 01:07:29,401 the programme might think, falsely. 1324 01:07:31,281 --> 01:07:33,121 - Yes, they tend to typecast us. 1325 01:07:34,441 --> 01:07:37,361 - So everything we say they'll think oh 1326 01:07:37,361 --> 01:07:40,321 that's a typical result of the public school system. 1327 01:07:42,081 --> 01:07:43,881 - It's certainly true that more people know 1328 01:07:43,881 --> 01:07:46,081 they have more options or imagine they have. 1329 01:07:47,321 --> 01:07:50,801 I think in practical terms the difference 1330 01:07:50,801 --> 01:07:55,481 in numerical number of options isn't that great. 1331 01:07:55,481 --> 01:07:58,081 - But the mere knowledge creates an option in itself 1332 01:07:58,081 --> 01:07:59,961 so I think we do have more options 1333 01:07:59,961 --> 01:08:04,681 and it is undesirable but it's very difficult to correct. 1334 01:08:04,681 --> 01:08:07,081 - I don't think it is undesirable at all I think 1335 01:08:07,081 --> 01:08:09,561 whats undesirable is people who have had options 1336 01:08:09,561 --> 01:08:12,481 don't take best advantage of them. 1337 01:08:12,481 --> 01:08:17,481 When I leave this school I'm going to Collet Court 1338 01:08:20,241 --> 01:08:23,001 and then I will be going to Westminster Boarding school 1339 01:08:23,001 --> 01:08:24,241 if I pass the exam. 1340 01:08:26,401 --> 01:08:30,201 And then we think I'm going to Cambridge in Trinity Hall. 1341 01:08:32,401 --> 01:08:34,561 - John went to Westminster School 1342 01:08:34,561 --> 01:08:37,521 and read Law at Christchurch Oxford. 1343 01:08:37,521 --> 01:08:39,761 - I do believe parents have a right to educate 1344 01:08:39,761 --> 01:08:41,801 their children as they think fit. 1345 01:08:41,801 --> 01:08:44,561 And I think someone who works 1346 01:08:44,561 --> 01:08:46,921 on the assembly line in some of these car factories 1347 01:08:46,921 --> 01:08:49,281 earning huge wage could well afford to send 1348 01:08:49,281 --> 01:08:51,961 their children to private schools if they wanted to. 1349 01:08:53,481 --> 01:08:56,441 - At 21 we asked him what career he would pursue. 1350 01:08:57,481 --> 01:08:58,561 - Might be at the Bar. 1351 01:09:00,641 --> 01:09:01,801 - Doing what? 1352 01:09:03,001 --> 01:09:04,681 Perhaps Chancery practise? 1353 01:09:04,681 --> 01:09:06,921 I now have a career, I'm a barrister, 1354 01:09:08,681 --> 01:09:11,601 other than that life chugs along in varying degrees. 1355 01:09:12,601 --> 01:09:14,321 - John entered the Chancery division 1356 01:09:14,321 --> 01:09:17,681 of the High Court and specialises in company law. 1357 01:09:17,681 --> 01:09:20,921 - How wonderful, have you told Alexandra. 1358 01:09:20,921 --> 01:09:23,401 - When I leave school I'm going to 1359 01:09:23,401 --> 01:09:27,961 The Dragons School I might and mummy's 1360 01:09:27,961 --> 01:09:31,761 and I might go to after I might go to Charterhouse, 1361 01:09:31,761 --> 01:09:36,641 Marlborough and I can't remember the other places 1362 01:09:41,601 --> 01:09:45,161 because mummy's got so many but there's some of them. 1363 01:09:45,161 --> 01:09:46,841 - What about university Charles? 1364 01:09:46,841 --> 01:09:48,601 - I might go to Oxford. 1365 01:09:49,721 --> 01:09:51,281 - Charles went to Marlborough 1366 01:09:51,281 --> 01:09:53,081 but he didn't go to Oxford. 1367 01:09:53,081 --> 01:09:55,241 Instead he went to Durham University. 1368 01:09:56,481 --> 01:10:00,601 - I'm pleased I didn't because it's very much 1369 01:10:00,601 --> 01:10:04,121 a sort of set from Marlborough. 1370 01:10:05,401 --> 01:10:10,161 Prep school, Marlborough, Oxbridge conveyor belt. 1371 01:10:11,561 --> 01:10:13,041 Shoved out at the end. 1372 01:10:14,041 --> 01:10:16,121 - And what did Charles want to do? 1373 01:10:16,121 --> 01:10:21,121 - Hard to say, probably scribbling away in some basement 1374 01:10:21,401 --> 01:10:24,321 for some London newspaper or something. 1375 01:10:24,321 --> 01:10:26,361 - Charles did scribble away for an 1376 01:10:26,361 --> 01:10:30,001 East London newspaper and then moved onto the BBC 1377 01:10:30,001 --> 01:10:32,001 where he is now a producer. 1378 01:10:32,001 --> 01:10:33,881 He married last year. 1379 01:10:33,881 --> 01:10:36,041 He prefers not to be on television. 1380 01:10:36,921 --> 01:10:38,681 - I'm going to Charterhouse 1381 01:10:39,881 --> 01:10:44,801 and after that Trinity Hall, Cambridge. 1382 01:10:46,321 --> 01:10:47,721 - Andrew went to Charterhouse 1383 01:10:47,721 --> 01:10:49,921 and Cambridge where he read Law. 1384 01:10:51,161 --> 01:10:55,121 - I'd like to be a solicitor and also fairly successful. 1385 01:10:56,241 --> 01:10:58,361 - At 28 Andrew was a solicitor 1386 01:10:58,361 --> 01:10:59,721 in a large London firm. 1387 01:10:59,721 --> 01:11:02,441 What qualities do you think it needs to be successful? 1388 01:11:03,881 --> 01:11:06,601 - Well you have to have a legal ability in my business 1389 01:11:06,601 --> 01:11:09,561 obviously and you have to have a sort of bedside manner 1390 01:11:09,561 --> 01:11:11,841 as far as your clients are concerned. 1391 01:11:11,841 --> 01:11:14,481 It's no good being brilliant if you can't 1392 01:11:14,481 --> 01:11:16,921 communicate with your clients. 1393 01:11:16,921 --> 01:11:19,841 - At 35 he had become a partner 1394 01:11:19,841 --> 01:11:21,681 in the same company. 1395 01:11:21,681 --> 01:11:24,601 - Well I work in the corporate department of a large firm 1396 01:11:24,601 --> 01:11:27,601 of solicitors in the city that is dealing with things 1397 01:11:27,601 --> 01:11:30,881 like mergers and acquisitions, joint ventures, 1398 01:11:30,881 --> 01:11:32,561 general corporate advice, 1399 01:11:32,561 --> 01:11:35,721 putting deals together for clients. 1400 01:11:35,721 --> 01:11:36,561 - What do you think 1401 01:11:36,561 --> 01:11:37,841 about girl friends at your age? 1402 01:11:39,161 --> 01:11:42,321 - I've got one but I don't think much of her. 1403 01:11:42,321 --> 01:11:45,841 - I don't think I financially come from the same background, 1404 01:11:45,841 --> 01:11:48,641 Andrew didn't go for a haughty deb, 1405 01:11:48,641 --> 01:11:50,881 he went for a good Yorkshire lass 1406 01:11:50,881 --> 01:11:53,641 but I mean obviously he knew what he wanted. 1407 01:11:53,641 --> 01:11:56,161 - At 28 Andrew had married Jane. 1408 01:11:57,081 --> 01:11:58,481 - I suppose the most important thing that's happened is 1409 01:11:58,481 --> 01:12:01,921 that we've had two children one five years ago, 1410 01:12:01,921 --> 01:12:04,681 Alexandra and then a couple of years later Timothy. 1411 01:12:05,921 --> 01:12:09,361 We've also moved out from central London over to Wimbledon. 1412 01:12:10,201 --> 01:12:12,081 We decided we should look somewhere there was 1413 01:12:12,081 --> 01:12:14,561 a bit of green space so we moved out here. 1414 01:12:15,881 --> 01:12:17,721 - What was the biggest surprise 1415 01:12:17,721 --> 01:12:18,841 about having children? 1416 01:12:21,161 --> 01:12:22,641 - That our ideas of bringing them up may be not 1417 01:12:22,641 --> 01:12:25,161 necessarily coincide with each others. 1418 01:12:26,681 --> 01:12:29,721 - When I see the children playing together now 1419 01:12:29,721 --> 01:12:32,401 I realise how much fun they have together 1420 01:12:32,401 --> 01:12:35,681 and it's probably what I missed being an only child. 1421 01:12:35,681 --> 01:12:37,641 - When boys go around with girls they don't 1422 01:12:37,641 --> 01:12:40,241 pay attention to what they're doing. 1423 01:12:40,241 --> 01:12:43,241 Yes my grandmother had an accident because 1424 01:12:43,241 --> 01:12:46,601 a boyfriend was kissing his girlfriend in the street. 1425 01:12:48,201 --> 01:12:51,161 The most important thing is that I've gotten married. 1426 01:12:51,161 --> 01:12:52,961 - He married Claire, the daughter 1427 01:12:52,961 --> 01:12:55,121 of a former Ambassador to Bulgaria. 1428 01:12:56,321 --> 01:13:00,481 - Recently I think this charity Friends of Bulgaria 1429 01:13:00,481 --> 01:13:02,761 is something that's very important in my life. 1430 01:13:04,641 --> 01:13:09,041 I became involved in all this to channel aid to Bulgaria. 1431 01:13:10,641 --> 01:13:11,961 It is a great pleasure to welcome you all here 1432 01:13:11,961 --> 01:13:14,681 tonight on behalf of Friends of Bulgaria. 1433 01:13:14,681 --> 01:13:17,361 My mother in fact is from Bulgaria, 1434 01:13:17,361 --> 01:13:19,801 and that explains why for me Bulgaria 1435 01:13:19,801 --> 01:13:21,041 is an especially important place. 1436 01:13:23,761 --> 01:13:27,241 We decided for our inaugural event it would be a good idea 1437 01:13:27,241 --> 01:13:32,241 to have a concert and as I'm a barrister I'd hoped 1438 01:13:33,321 --> 01:13:37,561 I'd be able to get access to one of the halls 1439 01:13:37,561 --> 01:13:38,401 of the Inns of Court because 1440 01:13:38,401 --> 01:13:40,561 they are very magnificent buildings. 1441 01:13:41,961 --> 01:13:45,881 - It is coincidental that we met but its obvious 1442 01:13:45,881 --> 01:13:50,721 that the Balkan connection was a strong mutual interest. 1443 01:13:51,561 --> 01:13:54,841 - I think it's not a bad idea to pay for schools 1444 01:13:54,841 --> 01:13:59,081 because if we didn't schools would be so nasty and crowded. 1445 01:14:00,241 --> 01:14:02,321 - So do I think so. 1446 01:14:02,321 --> 01:14:04,961 And the people in the schools wouldn't. 1447 01:14:04,961 --> 01:14:07,601 - And the poor people would coming rushing in. 1448 01:14:07,601 --> 01:14:12,281 - And the man in charge of the school would get very angry 1449 01:14:12,281 --> 01:14:13,481 because he wouldn't be able to 1450 01:14:13,481 --> 01:14:15,481 - And he'd get bankrupt. 1451 01:14:16,721 --> 01:14:20,401 - pay all the masters if he didn't have any money. 1452 01:14:22,601 --> 01:14:24,881 - At 7 the boys are singing Waltzing Matilda 1453 01:14:24,881 --> 01:14:28,281 in Latin at their exclusive private school in London. 1454 01:14:30,961 --> 01:14:33,161 - An education is very important, 1455 01:14:34,561 --> 01:14:37,881 I mean you can never be sure of leaving your children 1456 01:14:37,881 --> 01:14:40,481 any worldly goods but at least you can be sure 1457 01:14:40,481 --> 01:14:42,961 that once you're given them a good education 1458 01:14:42,961 --> 01:14:45,121 that's something that no one can take away. 1459 01:14:46,281 --> 01:14:48,561 The important issue is drawing the distinction 1460 01:14:48,561 --> 01:14:52,041 between allowing people to spend the money they earn, 1461 01:14:52,041 --> 01:14:55,001 in other words low taxes, and also putting enough money 1462 01:14:55,001 --> 01:14:57,281 into the infrastructure, things like education, 1463 01:14:57,281 --> 01:14:59,481 health service, transport system. 1464 01:15:00,521 --> 01:15:02,401 And that's a very difficult balance to draw 1465 01:15:02,401 --> 01:15:03,561 and I'm not sure that were doing 1466 01:15:03,561 --> 01:15:04,401 the right thing at the moment. 1467 01:15:04,401 --> 01:15:07,041 I think more should be being put into that 1468 01:15:08,121 --> 01:15:10,601 and I think people would be prepared to pay higher taxes 1469 01:15:10,601 --> 01:15:12,641 to pay for that sort of thing. 1470 01:15:16,441 --> 01:15:18,721 - Yeah just a bit late there. 1471 01:15:18,721 --> 01:15:21,921 - All this talk about opportunities, something I did 1472 01:15:21,921 --> 01:15:24,641 slightly object to in the programme, 1473 01:15:24,641 --> 01:15:27,081 we were all shown at the age of seven outlining 1474 01:15:27,081 --> 01:15:30,241 the academic sort of career that most of us did 1475 01:15:30,241 --> 01:15:33,321 in fact pursue but it didn't show the sleepless nights, 1476 01:15:33,321 --> 01:15:35,081 the sort of pouring over our books. 1477 01:15:37,241 --> 01:15:38,081 All the sweat and toil 1478 01:15:38,081 --> 01:15:40,241 that got us to University. 1479 01:15:40,241 --> 01:15:42,521 It was presented as if it were part 1480 01:15:42,521 --> 01:15:44,721 of some indestructible birth right 1481 01:15:44,721 --> 01:15:45,641 that we went to all these places 1482 01:15:45,641 --> 01:15:47,041 and I thought that was unfair. 1483 01:15:47,041 --> 01:15:50,121 It didn't show having to do beastly jobs in the holidays. 1484 01:15:50,121 --> 01:15:53,081 If I had a son I would like to send him 1485 01:15:53,081 --> 01:15:55,601 to Westminster where I went. 1486 01:15:56,561 --> 01:15:58,801 Where I suspect the public schools 1487 01:15:58,801 --> 01:16:03,121 or the major public schools win over the state schools is 1488 01:16:03,121 --> 01:16:06,281 in the quality of the staff that they attract. 1489 01:16:06,281 --> 01:16:08,441 I mean certainly at my school the teachers 1490 01:16:08,441 --> 01:16:11,401 were absolutely first rate but on the other hand 1491 01:16:11,401 --> 01:16:14,321 we had very little in the way of facilities 1492 01:16:14,321 --> 01:16:16,921 and computers and language laboratories 1493 01:16:16,921 --> 01:16:21,401 that are taken for granted in many state schools. 1494 01:16:21,401 --> 01:16:24,961 And I think when people talk about more resources 1495 01:16:24,961 --> 01:16:29,081 they often mean more money being spent on these things 1496 01:16:29,081 --> 01:16:32,241 which in a sense are inessentials, and less money 1497 01:16:32,241 --> 01:16:33,561 is being spent on what really matters 1498 01:16:33,561 --> 01:16:35,721 which is the quality of the teachers. 1499 01:16:35,721 --> 01:16:37,641 - The rich children always make fun 1500 01:16:37,641 --> 01:16:39,841 of poor children I think. 1501 01:16:39,841 --> 01:16:42,441 - The acquisition of sacks and sacks of money 1502 01:16:42,441 --> 01:16:46,321 is not something that I set much importance by. 1503 01:16:47,321 --> 01:16:49,921 I'm not money minded I would say in that sense. 1504 01:16:49,921 --> 01:16:52,161 On the other hand it would be hypocritical 1505 01:16:52,161 --> 01:16:55,201 to pretend that a lot of the things that I take 1506 01:16:55,201 --> 01:17:00,201 for granted and my lifestyle is dependent on having 1507 01:17:00,361 --> 01:17:03,081 a fair amount of money but I can't say 1508 01:17:03,081 --> 01:17:06,081 that the acquisition of more money is one 1509 01:17:06,081 --> 01:17:08,401 of my main aims in life. 1510 01:17:08,401 --> 01:17:11,201 We now have a house in the country which takes up 1511 01:17:11,201 --> 01:17:14,801 a lot of our time and energies and I seem to spend 1512 01:17:14,801 --> 01:17:16,801 an awful lot of my time gardening furiously, 1513 01:17:16,801 --> 01:17:20,401 trying to tame the wilderness that we inherited there. 1514 01:17:20,401 --> 01:17:22,961 I'd have laughed if 10 years ago you'd have told me 1515 01:17:22,961 --> 01:17:27,961 that I'd spend most of my time digging herbaceous borders 1516 01:17:28,281 --> 01:17:30,481 but that's what I seem to do and I enjoy it. 1517 01:17:32,161 --> 01:17:34,361 One good thing about having quite a large house 1518 01:17:34,361 --> 01:17:37,521 in the country now is that I've taken up playing the piano. 1519 01:17:38,641 --> 01:17:40,881 I've always had a piano in London but with work 1520 01:17:40,881 --> 01:17:43,561 I never had time to practise and now we've got room 1521 01:17:43,561 --> 01:17:46,561 to house a piano in the country and I find I am now 1522 01:17:46,561 --> 01:17:50,601 practising quite a lot and beginning to get it back a bit. 1523 01:17:50,601 --> 01:17:52,201 - Certainly I can never tell the difference 1524 01:17:52,201 --> 01:17:54,041 between you playing and the CD playing 1525 01:17:54,041 --> 01:17:57,241 when I'm out of the room, you're very good. 1526 01:17:57,241 --> 01:17:58,721 - Well she's very diplomatic. 1527 01:17:59,881 --> 01:18:02,321 - Does money concern you a lot? 1528 01:18:03,241 --> 01:18:06,201 - I think as long as one has enough to be comfortable 1529 01:18:06,201 --> 01:18:09,361 that's really what one should aim for. 1530 01:18:12,561 --> 01:18:14,801 We took the children skiing for the first time last year, 1531 01:18:14,801 --> 01:18:18,761 at least Alexander, and he really enjoyed it. 1532 01:18:18,761 --> 01:18:21,361 - Is the family unit the most important thing 1533 01:18:21,361 --> 01:18:25,521 in your lives, more than your own ambition or? 1534 01:18:25,521 --> 01:18:28,241 - I'm not sure that I have any ambition as such now 1535 01:18:29,161 --> 01:18:32,321 I mean just to progress with my work and so on. 1536 01:18:32,321 --> 01:18:33,441 - I think ambition probably changes once 1537 01:18:33,441 --> 01:18:36,521 you've got children, your outlook on life is no longer 1538 01:18:36,521 --> 01:18:38,401 the same as it was before. 1539 01:18:38,401 --> 01:18:40,681 And you can still have ambitions and the fact 1540 01:18:40,681 --> 01:18:42,481 you want to be successful in your work 1541 01:18:42,481 --> 01:18:44,561 but the end result is that if you're successful 1542 01:18:44,561 --> 01:18:46,601 in your work then you can enjoy 1543 01:18:46,601 --> 01:18:48,961 your success with your children. 1544 01:18:48,961 --> 01:18:50,841 And hopefully with your wife as well. 1545 01:18:52,801 --> 01:18:56,721 - I think the more you have out of the country the more 1546 01:18:56,721 --> 01:19:00,041 privileges you're born with the greater your duty is. 1547 01:19:01,481 --> 01:19:04,281 I still feel as I did when I was 21 that it's important 1548 01:19:04,281 --> 01:19:08,321 for people who have had advantages to try 1549 01:19:08,321 --> 01:19:12,641 and put as much back and to help others less fortunate 1550 01:19:12,641 --> 01:19:15,441 than themselves if they can. 1551 01:19:17,561 --> 01:19:20,961 In England as we all know there is a perpetual debate 1552 01:19:20,961 --> 01:19:23,961 about the National Health Service being starved 1553 01:19:23,961 --> 01:19:26,481 of resources but people who go on 1554 01:19:26,481 --> 01:19:29,441 about the government butchering the National Health Service 1555 01:19:29,441 --> 01:19:31,001 I think should come over to Bulgaria 1556 01:19:31,001 --> 01:19:35,201 to see what being kept short of necessary supplies 1557 01:19:35,201 --> 01:19:36,881 and funds really does mean. 1558 01:19:37,961 --> 01:19:42,001 What were doing round delivering drugs firstly 1559 01:19:42,001 --> 01:19:45,081 that we've managed to purchase with monies 1560 01:19:45,081 --> 01:19:49,361 so far raised by our appeal and also at the same time, 1561 01:19:49,361 --> 01:19:51,721 trying to find out what it is that they really need 1562 01:19:51,721 --> 01:19:54,241 so that we can be sure we're getting the right things 1563 01:19:54,241 --> 01:19:57,481 through to the right destinations. 1564 01:19:57,481 --> 01:20:00,161 We've been told that in some places its impossible 1565 01:20:00,161 --> 01:20:02,921 to do even operations, albeit that they have 1566 01:20:02,921 --> 01:20:05,321 the operating theatres and they have excellent doctors, 1567 01:20:05,321 --> 01:20:07,201 for want of simple anaesthetics. 1568 01:20:07,201 --> 01:20:10,321 In other places, for instance, 1569 01:20:10,321 --> 01:20:12,841 the children's home at, they're even lacking 1570 01:20:12,841 --> 01:20:15,441 such simple things as soap and detergent. 1571 01:20:16,321 --> 01:20:19,001 These are things that we can supply in England 1572 01:20:19,001 --> 01:20:21,641 very painlessly and yet here they really 1573 01:20:21,641 --> 01:20:23,561 make a lot of difference. 1574 01:20:24,801 --> 01:20:28,241 - The Bulgaria that I have known coming back 1575 01:20:28,241 --> 01:20:32,721 with John has been a much more varied country 1576 01:20:32,721 --> 01:20:37,001 and it has been very enriching to travel 1577 01:20:37,001 --> 01:20:40,001 around the country with John and to have 1578 01:20:40,001 --> 01:20:44,401 the extra dimension of John having investigated 1579 01:20:44,401 --> 01:20:48,881 to a great degree his family tree down 1580 01:20:48,881 --> 01:20:51,801 through many generations and many centuries. 1581 01:20:52,641 --> 01:20:55,401 - My great great grandfather who was the 1582 01:20:55,401 --> 01:20:57,601 first prime minister of Bulgaria when the country 1583 01:20:57,601 --> 01:21:00,361 was liberated from the Turks in 1879. 1584 01:21:05,401 --> 01:21:07,161 Well I think everyone needs to have a feeling 1585 01:21:07,161 --> 01:21:08,521 that they belong somewhere. 1586 01:21:09,721 --> 01:21:10,641 There's a plot of land 1587 01:21:10,641 --> 01:21:15,481 or somewhere they hail from and their roots are. 1588 01:21:18,161 --> 01:21:21,481 Within the last month a new agricultural law has been 1589 01:21:21,481 --> 01:21:25,641 passed returning land to its former proprietors. 1590 01:21:25,641 --> 01:21:28,521 We think that some part at any rate of this property 1591 01:21:28,521 --> 01:21:30,561 will become back to us and I for one 1592 01:21:30,561 --> 01:21:33,321 am very excited at that prospect. 1593 01:21:33,321 --> 01:21:36,481 It belonged to my grandfather, his brother. 1594 01:21:38,001 --> 01:21:39,481 And they farmed it in the whole estate 1595 01:21:39,481 --> 01:21:41,601 and partnership with my great grandfather. 1596 01:21:42,921 --> 01:21:44,801 Looking at it with a professional eye, 1597 01:21:44,801 --> 01:21:47,361 I've dealt with worse than this in North Hampton. 1598 01:21:47,361 --> 01:21:48,201 I don't think there's anything 1599 01:21:48,201 --> 01:21:53,041 that couldn't be sorted out given six months or so. 1600 01:21:54,041 --> 01:21:56,081 And a couple house guests to stay. 1601 01:21:57,881 --> 01:22:00,441 - Do you think you and Claire could live here? 1602 01:22:00,441 --> 01:22:02,161 - Ask me that in 7 years time. 1603 01:22:03,921 --> 01:22:05,841 I don't think much of their accents. 1604 01:22:05,841 --> 01:22:06,681 - Neither do I. 1605 01:22:06,681 --> 01:22:07,521 - What's been the effect of being 1606 01:22:07,521 --> 01:22:09,001 in these films on you? 1607 01:22:09,001 --> 01:22:11,401 - I don't think really there has been any effect really. 1608 01:22:11,401 --> 01:22:13,881 From time to time I meet someone who I've never met 1609 01:22:13,881 --> 01:22:15,801 before who says I think I've seen you somewhere 1610 01:22:15,801 --> 01:22:20,681 before haven't I and I say perhaps. 1611 01:22:20,681 --> 01:22:22,361 I try not to talk about it. 1612 01:22:23,601 --> 01:22:25,641 - You've got three minuses in a day. 1613 01:22:28,161 --> 01:22:31,601 I must say I mainly laugh when I see myself at seven. 1614 01:22:32,761 --> 01:22:34,161 Obviously I said some shocking 1615 01:22:34,161 --> 01:22:37,481 but extremely funny things in retrospect. 1616 01:22:37,481 --> 01:22:39,681 It has to be said that I bitterly regret 1617 01:22:39,681 --> 01:22:42,041 that the headmaster of the school where I was 1618 01:22:42,041 --> 01:22:45,001 when I was seven pushed me forward for this series 1619 01:22:45,001 --> 01:22:47,361 because every seven years 1620 01:22:47,361 --> 01:22:50,041 a little pill of poison is injected. 1621 01:22:51,641 --> 01:22:52,601 - Well no. 1622 01:22:52,601 --> 01:22:57,081 - Well it's the truth, I dislike intensely 1623 01:22:57,081 --> 01:23:00,481 being on television, I refused to do this programme 1624 01:23:00,481 --> 01:23:03,161 last time round and I'm only doing it this time 1625 01:23:03,161 --> 01:23:06,001 because I see this as an opportunity 1626 01:23:06,001 --> 01:23:10,001 to draw the attention of viewers in this country 1627 01:23:10,001 --> 01:23:17,081 to the awful problems in Bulgaria in the hope 1628 01:23:17,241 --> 01:23:19,281 that they may wish to do something 1629 01:23:19,281 --> 01:23:20,921 to help the situation there. 1630 01:23:24,401 --> 01:23:29,321 - I don't like big boys hitting us 1631 01:23:29,321 --> 01:23:33,001 and the prefects sending us out for nothing. 1632 01:23:36,001 --> 01:23:38,481 I know I prefer to be alone really. 1633 01:23:38,481 --> 01:23:41,641 I find it hard to express emotion most of the time 1634 01:23:41,641 --> 01:23:44,841 although I'm getting on top of that more now. 1635 01:23:46,561 --> 01:23:48,961 Just the simple things to say to sort of Susan, 1636 01:23:48,961 --> 01:23:51,161 you know I love you something like that, 1637 01:23:51,161 --> 01:23:52,921 I mean I can tell you about it 1638 01:23:52,921 --> 01:23:55,561 but I really haven't been able to say it 1639 01:23:55,561 --> 01:23:58,881 freely to Sue you know. 1640 01:23:58,881 --> 01:24:00,521 - What was it that you fell in love with, 1641 01:24:00,521 --> 01:24:01,841 what is it about him? 1642 01:24:01,841 --> 01:24:04,401 - His helplessness I suppose, 1643 01:24:04,401 --> 01:24:06,001 it was the motherly instinct in me 1644 01:24:06,001 --> 01:24:07,601 to pick him up and cuddle him. 1645 01:24:08,601 --> 01:24:09,721 He's also very good looking I think 1646 01:24:09,721 --> 01:24:11,401 but he doesn't agree with me. 1647 01:24:12,601 --> 01:24:15,321 In the summer he's got this cute little bum in shorts. 1648 01:24:16,401 --> 01:24:18,481 I mean I can tell quite a few stories here 1649 01:24:18,481 --> 01:24:20,881 but the one that really irritates me the most is 1650 01:24:20,881 --> 01:24:23,001 that when we have an argument he says that's it, leave me. 1651 01:24:23,001 --> 01:24:25,761 And I say fine, all right I will one day. 1652 01:24:25,761 --> 01:24:26,921 But that's it you know after all 1653 01:24:26,921 --> 01:24:28,121 these years of marriage, we've been married for 1654 01:24:28,121 --> 01:24:30,361 what 13 years now or something 1655 01:24:30,361 --> 01:24:32,401 and he still say you're leaving me. 1656 01:24:32,401 --> 01:24:34,721 Well one day I might just pack my bags and go. 1657 01:24:37,081 --> 01:24:38,601 - At seven, Paul was at a 1658 01:24:38,601 --> 01:24:40,201 children's home in London. 1659 01:24:42,841 --> 01:24:45,801 Were you happy at the children's home in England? 1660 01:24:45,801 --> 01:24:47,921 - We didn't mind that really cause we didn't know 1661 01:24:47,921 --> 01:24:51,081 what was going on cause we were a bit young. 1662 01:24:51,081 --> 01:24:53,961 My mother and father got, well they separated originally 1663 01:24:53,961 --> 01:24:58,801 I think they eventually got divorced, 1664 01:24:58,801 --> 01:25:00,321 I went to the Boarding school for one year 1665 01:25:00,321 --> 01:25:02,321 and we emigrated to Australia. 1666 01:25:03,961 --> 01:25:05,441 My father got remarried. 1667 01:25:07,881 --> 01:25:09,721 - How do you get on with your step mother? 1668 01:25:10,601 --> 01:25:14,961 - Pretty well but like I said before I'm just not close, 1669 01:25:14,961 --> 01:25:17,001 I'm not really close to my father either. 1670 01:25:21,681 --> 01:25:22,681 - Do you have any regrets about the fact 1671 01:25:22,681 --> 01:25:25,081 that you weren't closer to him when you were younger? 1672 01:25:25,081 --> 01:25:27,161 - Yes I suppose, I mean it's all wasted time 1673 01:25:27,161 --> 01:25:29,001 in a way I suppose. 1674 01:25:29,001 --> 01:25:31,681 He was always there, I could always talk 1675 01:25:31,681 --> 01:25:34,601 to him but it was different. 1676 01:25:34,601 --> 01:25:36,081 - A lot of people that go out to Australia, 1677 01:25:36,081 --> 01:25:37,961 these English people, they go out without family 1678 01:25:37,961 --> 01:25:40,601 you know and all of a sudden Paul's come here 1679 01:25:40,601 --> 01:25:44,321 and he's got all this family he sort of half knew existed. 1680 01:25:46,921 --> 01:25:49,361 - So Paul brought Sue and his two children 1681 01:25:49,361 --> 01:25:52,641 Katy and Robert to visit the family for the first time. 1682 01:25:53,961 --> 01:25:57,281 Do you think about England much when you're in Australia? 1683 01:25:57,281 --> 01:25:59,401 - Only when the crickets on. 1684 01:25:59,401 --> 01:26:00,281 - I mean I'm in awe of everything I see 1685 01:26:00,281 --> 01:26:01,721 because I've always wanted to come to London, 1686 01:26:01,721 --> 01:26:04,721 I always thought it would be great thing to do. 1687 01:26:04,721 --> 01:26:06,561 And all of a sudden I'm here 1688 01:26:06,561 --> 01:26:09,281 and I'm having a great time and Paul and the kids are just, 1689 01:26:09,281 --> 01:26:12,641 I'm just dragging them along behind like come on we're off. 1690 01:26:12,641 --> 01:26:14,001 But no, it'd be really interesting 1691 01:26:14,001 --> 01:26:15,241 because I'd had lots of family. 1692 01:26:15,241 --> 01:26:18,761 And I know I love this sort of stuff, bit of a showpony. 1693 01:26:23,361 --> 01:26:26,281 - When the crunch came and we were coming over here 1694 01:26:26,281 --> 01:26:27,561 I didn't want to do it. 1695 01:26:27,561 --> 01:26:28,441 It's just something in me 1696 01:26:28,441 --> 01:26:30,921 that holds me back I just it's shyness 1697 01:26:30,921 --> 01:26:32,201 or something I'm not sure. 1698 01:26:34,161 --> 01:26:36,841 I'm not really good at meeting new people I guess. 1699 01:26:38,561 --> 01:26:39,801 - Is there any way you would want 1700 01:26:39,801 --> 01:26:42,481 to be a father any differently from the way 1701 01:26:42,481 --> 01:26:43,841 your father was to you? 1702 01:26:45,041 --> 01:26:48,081 - I'd like there to be more contact 1703 01:26:48,081 --> 01:26:51,241 close actual physical contact close. 1704 01:26:51,241 --> 01:26:53,961 My dad and I are exactly the same like 1705 01:26:53,961 --> 01:26:58,401 that we you know if we hug it's unusual. 1706 01:26:58,401 --> 01:27:00,921 - When we had Katy when she was born Paul said 1707 01:27:00,921 --> 01:27:02,601 to me oh I'm glad I've got a daughter. 1708 01:27:02,601 --> 01:27:04,921 He said when I'm an old man at least 1709 01:27:04,921 --> 01:27:05,761 she'll be able to come up 1710 01:27:05,761 --> 01:27:07,601 and give me a kiss and a cuddle. 1711 01:27:07,601 --> 01:27:09,321 - Would you like to get married Paul? 1712 01:27:10,241 --> 01:27:11,241 - No. 1713 01:27:11,241 --> 01:27:12,601 - Tell me why not. 1714 01:27:12,601 --> 01:27:16,681 - I don't want like them say you had a wife they, 1715 01:27:18,081 --> 01:27:22,161 they say you had to eat what they cooked you 1716 01:27:23,041 --> 01:27:27,201 and say I don't like greens, well I don't, 1717 01:27:27,201 --> 01:27:32,201 and say she said you have to eat what you give. 1718 01:27:32,881 --> 01:27:35,841 So, I don't like greens say she gives me 1719 01:27:35,841 --> 01:27:37,241 greens and that's it. 1720 01:27:39,281 --> 01:27:41,001 - Divorce was something new to me. 1721 01:27:42,081 --> 01:27:43,041 I figured what Paul's been through, 1722 01:27:43,041 --> 01:27:44,721 I mean Paul doesn't say it's very bad 1723 01:27:44,721 --> 01:27:47,321 but I wouldn't like that for my children. 1724 01:27:47,321 --> 01:27:49,281 - What keeps this marriage together? 1725 01:27:51,321 --> 01:27:54,641 - Learning to keep your mouth closed at times, I don't know. 1726 01:27:54,641 --> 01:27:57,801 - Tolerance I think, I mean we don't stew we have arguments, 1727 01:27:57,801 --> 01:27:59,561 big arguments like anyone else 1728 01:27:59,561 --> 01:28:03,321 and we have spoken about this before. 1729 01:28:03,321 --> 01:28:04,721 We don't tend to stew over it 1730 01:28:04,721 --> 01:28:09,561 for any length of time, we can be unbelievable together, 1731 01:28:09,561 --> 01:28:12,041 you know biting each others heads off 1732 01:28:12,041 --> 01:28:16,561 but we don't never go to the next day. 1733 01:28:18,401 --> 01:28:20,041 - This is the one thing that the shows done to us is 1734 01:28:20,041 --> 01:28:22,561 that it makes you analyse things a bit more you know 1735 01:28:22,561 --> 01:28:23,601 like maybe if the show hadn't have 1736 01:28:23,601 --> 01:28:26,041 been here we may have split up. 1737 01:28:26,041 --> 01:28:30,201 You think well we can see what we were like a long time ago 1738 01:28:30,201 --> 01:28:33,081 and it brings it back to you, you think well, 1739 01:28:33,081 --> 01:28:37,201 we had this then, often a lot of people grow apart 1740 01:28:37,201 --> 01:28:39,801 and can't see what they had originally. 1741 01:28:39,801 --> 01:28:41,841 - I don't think the show could actually hold you together. 1742 01:28:41,841 --> 01:28:43,841 - No, no but what it's showing you is 1743 01:28:43,841 --> 01:28:45,201 what you had in the past. 1744 01:28:49,801 --> 01:28:52,241 - In their twenties, Paul and Sue sold up, 1745 01:28:52,241 --> 01:28:55,641 bought an old van and travelled through Australia. 1746 01:28:55,641 --> 01:28:57,681 - I think it brought us closer together, 1747 01:28:57,681 --> 01:28:59,201 we got to know each other, 1748 01:28:59,201 --> 01:29:00,801 we relied on each other so much. 1749 01:29:02,081 --> 01:29:03,201 It gave us our own peace of mind that we could 1750 01:29:03,201 --> 01:29:05,161 settle down and now have a family, 1751 01:29:05,161 --> 01:29:08,641 that we had done something, we hadn't just been nobodies 1752 01:29:08,641 --> 01:29:10,641 and lived in suburbia all our lives. 1753 01:29:10,641 --> 01:29:12,641 We'd done something that we were proud of, 1754 01:29:12,641 --> 01:29:14,361 that we'd accomplished on our own. 1755 01:29:15,801 --> 01:29:20,721 Being together so much it was hard but then we settled down, 1756 01:29:20,721 --> 01:29:21,881 and must have settled down really well 1757 01:29:21,881 --> 01:29:24,801 because I got pregnant so something 1758 01:29:24,801 --> 01:29:26,361 must've been going right. 1759 01:29:27,521 --> 01:29:28,721 - The family settled down 1760 01:29:28,721 --> 01:29:30,841 in a working class suburb of Melbourne. 1761 01:29:33,081 --> 01:29:35,001 Are you ambitious for your children Paul? 1762 01:29:35,001 --> 01:29:37,561 - I said something about wanting Robert 1763 01:29:37,561 --> 01:29:40,481 to be a brain surgeon but that was a joke. 1764 01:29:40,481 --> 01:29:42,681 I mean if like if he's a brain surgeon good 1765 01:29:42,681 --> 01:29:44,881 and well but it'd be nice to let them go 1766 01:29:44,881 --> 01:29:46,961 one step up from us I think. 1767 01:29:49,401 --> 01:29:52,641 At the moment I'm pretty happy with Katy, 1768 01:29:52,641 --> 01:29:54,401 I'm not having a go at Robert but I've got fears 1769 01:29:54,401 --> 01:29:57,881 for Robert cause he's struggling a little bit. 1770 01:29:57,881 --> 01:30:00,641 He's only been at school for two years 1771 01:30:00,641 --> 01:30:03,921 and grade one and he's had three teachers already 1772 01:30:04,921 --> 01:30:07,161 say they don't know how to motivate him. 1773 01:30:07,161 --> 01:30:09,161 What does University mean? 1774 01:30:09,161 --> 01:30:11,401 - When the last show was on I said to Robert 1775 01:30:11,401 --> 01:30:12,561 do you think you'll go to university? 1776 01:30:12,561 --> 01:30:14,561 He goes well what's university? 1777 01:30:14,561 --> 01:30:15,521 It just floored me. 1778 01:30:16,841 --> 01:30:18,801 It just proves that high education 1779 01:30:19,721 --> 01:30:22,281 isn't a major point to us, just getting him out of 1780 01:30:22,281 --> 01:30:24,521 first grade was a major importance to us 1781 01:30:24,521 --> 01:30:26,641 and so university seems a long way off 1782 01:30:26,641 --> 01:30:29,401 and so we just take each year as it comes. 1783 01:30:29,401 --> 01:30:30,881 - I was going to be a policeman 1784 01:30:30,881 --> 01:30:34,841 but I thought how hard it would be to join in. 1785 01:30:36,121 --> 01:30:37,961 I just haven't made up my mind yet. 1786 01:30:37,961 --> 01:30:39,241 I was going to be a phys ed teacher 1787 01:30:39,241 --> 01:30:42,961 but one of the teachers told me you had 1788 01:30:42,961 --> 01:30:44,601 to get up into university. 1789 01:30:46,121 --> 01:30:48,361 - At 21 Paul as working as a junior partner 1790 01:30:48,361 --> 01:30:50,921 for a firm of bricklayers in Melbourne. 1791 01:30:50,921 --> 01:30:54,481 By 28 he'd gone out on his own as a sub-contractor 1792 01:30:54,481 --> 01:30:56,081 but it didn't work out. 1793 01:30:56,081 --> 01:30:59,481 Since then he'd had a variety of jobs in the building trade. 1794 01:30:59,481 --> 01:31:00,841 - Well I'm more of a trades person 1795 01:31:00,841 --> 01:31:02,561 than a business person you know, 1796 01:31:04,081 --> 01:31:05,361 I've never had any business training 1797 01:31:05,361 --> 01:31:09,241 and if I've got natural ability I probably haven't used it. 1798 01:31:10,201 --> 01:31:11,961 Where do the problems go? 1799 01:31:11,961 --> 01:31:15,401 I mean did I lose it because of it or did I never have it? 1800 01:31:15,401 --> 01:31:17,361 I think the confidence was never there, 1801 01:31:18,641 --> 01:31:21,441 it might run I the family sort of thing. 1802 01:31:21,441 --> 01:31:24,081 - I think maybe it's the lack of security maybe he felt 1803 01:31:24,081 --> 01:31:25,921 when he was a child, perhaps, 1804 01:31:25,921 --> 01:31:28,201 that's my theory, my theory alone. 1805 01:31:28,201 --> 01:31:30,201 I mean that's the old thing isn't it, 1806 01:31:30,201 --> 01:31:32,401 when one of your parents are taken away 1807 01:31:32,401 --> 01:31:34,561 from you you lack security. 1808 01:31:35,561 --> 01:31:38,481 - The monitors up in the washroom sends the nurse 1809 01:31:38,481 --> 01:31:41,721 out well there's no talking well I wasn't talking. 1810 01:31:41,721 --> 01:31:44,321 - Katy now has this saying, oh you know me I'm hopeless 1811 01:31:44,321 --> 01:31:47,281 and it's just Paul you know, oh you know me I can't do this. 1812 01:31:47,281 --> 01:31:48,801 And it's sort of like this defeatist attitude type 1813 01:31:48,801 --> 01:31:51,241 of thing but oh I don't know I just ignore it 1814 01:31:51,241 --> 01:31:54,201 and go along my merry way I suppose. 1815 01:31:54,201 --> 01:31:56,361 He has got better, I think as you get older 1816 01:31:57,321 --> 01:32:00,401 maturer you know, confidence does come to a point. 1817 01:32:01,921 --> 01:32:04,801 - I really went through a stage it's so stupid 1818 01:32:04,801 --> 01:32:07,961 because I was only a bricklayer like I failed. 1819 01:32:07,961 --> 01:32:10,001 Something happened with that job and I started 1820 01:32:10,001 --> 01:32:12,081 to maybe I did start to look at what we had 1821 01:32:12,081 --> 01:32:14,401 and think what do you want out of life? 1822 01:32:15,401 --> 01:32:18,681 What's so bad about what we got? 1823 01:32:25,081 --> 01:32:27,841 - Do the two of you have a dream? 1824 01:32:29,681 --> 01:32:32,561 - I've always wanted to move to the country. 1825 01:32:32,561 --> 01:32:34,681 I wouldn't mind a small property, 1826 01:32:35,961 --> 01:32:37,321 doesn't have to be big or flashy. 1827 01:32:37,321 --> 01:32:38,761 It's more relaxed style 1828 01:32:38,761 --> 01:32:42,161 of living, an attractive sort of lifestyle. 1829 01:32:44,361 --> 01:32:46,041 - We've just been together for so long we're 1830 01:32:46,041 --> 01:32:48,921 just sort of plod along together. 1831 01:32:49,841 --> 01:32:53,801 I enjoy his company and he enjoys mine most of the time. 1832 01:32:55,241 --> 01:32:57,481 I know that he's going to come home to me every night, 1833 01:32:57,481 --> 01:32:59,481 I'm going to have someone there. 1834 01:32:59,481 --> 01:33:01,521 He's very secure that way. 1835 01:33:03,241 --> 01:33:05,841 - She does put up with a lot. 1836 01:33:05,841 --> 01:33:08,681 I can't be that easy to live with. 1837 01:33:09,681 --> 01:33:12,921 I'm nice but I'm not easy to live with. 1838 01:33:18,961 --> 01:33:22,321 - Well we pretend we've got swords. 1839 01:33:22,321 --> 01:33:24,161 We make the noises of the swords fighting 1840 01:33:24,161 --> 01:33:26,361 and when somebody stabs us we go aargh. 1841 01:33:28,161 --> 01:33:30,121 If think if you're healthy and have good friends 1842 01:33:30,121 --> 01:33:31,441 you can get on perfectly well. 1843 01:33:31,441 --> 01:33:33,041 Everybody would like to be rich. 1844 01:33:34,561 --> 01:33:39,561 I came to London and contacted an agency for squatters 1845 01:33:40,241 --> 01:33:44,361 and they were able to give me an address of somebody 1846 01:33:44,361 --> 01:33:46,921 who was able to help people who were looking 1847 01:33:46,921 --> 01:33:49,561 for accommodation in the London area. 1848 01:33:49,561 --> 01:33:51,721 - But you've kicked against the stability. 1849 01:33:53,241 --> 01:33:56,641 - I don't think I ever had any stability to be quite honest. 1850 01:33:57,761 --> 01:34:00,721 I can't think of any time in my life when I ever did. 1851 01:34:00,721 --> 01:34:02,601 I don't think I've been kicking against anything 1852 01:34:02,601 --> 01:34:05,281 I think I've been kicking in mid air the whole of my life. 1853 01:34:06,641 --> 01:34:07,961 I've been moving about a bit 1854 01:34:07,961 --> 01:34:10,721 between difference places really, a bit unsettled 1855 01:34:10,721 --> 01:34:14,561 but I'm very shortly moving to live in digs. 1856 01:34:15,841 --> 01:34:19,001 - At 28 Neil was roaming around Britain. 1857 01:34:19,001 --> 01:34:21,761 We found him on the west coast of Scotland. 1858 01:34:21,761 --> 01:34:22,641 - If the state didn't give us 1859 01:34:22,641 --> 01:34:24,081 any money it would probably 1860 01:34:24,081 --> 01:34:27,401 just mean crime and I'm glad I don't have to steal 1861 01:34:27,401 --> 01:34:28,481 to keep myself alive. 1862 01:34:31,081 --> 01:34:33,561 If the money runs out well then for a few days 1863 01:34:33,561 --> 01:34:36,721 there's nowhere to go to that's all you can do, 1864 01:34:36,721 --> 01:34:39,201 I simply have to find the warmest shed I can find. 1865 01:34:41,081 --> 01:34:43,721 - At 35 he's living in a council flat 1866 01:34:43,721 --> 01:34:45,081 in the Shetland Islands. 1867 01:34:47,601 --> 01:34:48,721 - The nice thing about here is that you can cut 1868 01:34:48,721 --> 01:34:51,521 yourself off when you want because there are people 1869 01:34:51,521 --> 01:34:53,921 living around but they're pretty quiet people. 1870 01:34:55,001 --> 01:34:57,321 It's an environment which sustains me it's one 1871 01:34:57,321 --> 01:34:58,801 in which I can survive. 1872 01:35:00,161 --> 01:35:03,561 I still feel my real place is in the world 1873 01:35:03,561 --> 01:35:07,961 of the world where people are doing 1874 01:35:07,961 --> 01:35:09,521 what the majority of people do. 1875 01:35:11,721 --> 01:35:13,481 And the reason I don't feel safe is 1876 01:35:13,481 --> 01:35:14,561 because I think I'm getting more 1877 01:35:14,561 --> 01:35:17,161 and more used to this lifestyle 1878 01:35:18,081 --> 01:35:20,161 which eventually I shall have to give up. 1879 01:35:21,121 --> 01:35:23,361 - How do you manage for money these days? 1880 01:35:24,761 --> 01:35:27,521 - Social Security still, I wish it wasn't 1881 01:35:27,521 --> 01:35:28,921 but I'm afraid it is. 1882 01:35:30,721 --> 01:35:32,121 I've no desire to be putting 1883 01:35:32,121 --> 01:35:36,241 the taxes up and drawing money off people who've earned it 1884 01:35:37,441 --> 01:35:41,081 themselves but that's the way it is. 1885 01:35:42,721 --> 01:35:44,921 Well I'm going to take people to the country 1886 01:35:44,921 --> 01:35:47,721 and sometimes take them to the sea-side 1887 01:35:47,721 --> 01:35:51,601 and I'll have a big loud speaker in the motor coach 1888 01:35:51,601 --> 01:35:54,801 and tell them whereabouts we are and what we're going 1889 01:35:54,801 --> 01:35:59,801 to do and what the name of the road is and all about that. 1890 01:36:00,281 --> 01:36:02,681 - Neil was brought up in a Liverpool suburb, 1891 01:36:02,681 --> 01:36:04,601 went to a local comprehensive school 1892 01:36:04,601 --> 01:36:06,601 and Aberdeen University. 1893 01:36:06,601 --> 01:36:08,321 He dropped out after a term 1894 01:36:08,321 --> 01:36:11,241 and at 21 was working on a building site in London. 1895 01:36:15,241 --> 01:36:17,361 At 28 he was homeless. 1896 01:36:18,561 --> 01:36:20,041 How do people regard you here? 1897 01:36:22,081 --> 01:36:24,481 - Well I'm still known as an eccentric 1898 01:36:26,241 --> 01:36:31,121 as I have been since about the age of 16 or so. 1899 01:36:33,081 --> 01:36:35,321 - Do the days seem long for you? 1900 01:36:35,321 --> 01:36:36,161 - They can do. 1901 01:36:42,761 --> 01:36:44,481 - Do you have any friends anywhere? 1902 01:36:44,481 --> 01:36:46,561 - I've some good friends still in England. 1903 01:36:49,641 --> 01:36:50,761 - Neil settled down 1904 01:36:50,761 --> 01:36:53,441 in the Shetland Islands a couple of years ago. 1905 01:36:55,161 --> 01:36:56,641 - Hello Neil how are you? 1906 01:36:56,641 --> 01:36:59,121 - Is the community important to you? 1907 01:36:59,121 --> 01:37:01,441 - Yes, it has to be, this is where I live. 1908 01:37:02,521 --> 01:37:03,841 It's been very good to me. 1909 01:37:04,801 --> 01:37:08,921 People have been especially kind in many areas 1910 01:37:08,921 --> 01:37:11,801 and I'd like to be putting something back into it 1911 01:37:11,801 --> 01:37:13,041 and we'd be putting something back 1912 01:37:13,041 --> 01:37:16,241 into the whole of Shetland, not just into this area. 1913 01:37:18,041 --> 01:37:20,121 I'll take 2 pints of milk please. 1914 01:37:20,121 --> 01:37:21,121 - There we are Neil. 1915 01:37:22,041 --> 01:37:24,001 And how's the pantomime then? 1916 01:37:24,001 --> 01:37:24,961 - Not so bad. 1917 01:37:24,961 --> 01:37:27,201 - Oh that's good, no traumas? 1918 01:37:27,201 --> 01:37:29,201 - Not on my part but people could do 1919 01:37:29,201 --> 01:37:30,721 with learning their lines a bit better. 1920 01:37:30,721 --> 01:37:31,801 - But you're alright. 1921 01:37:31,801 --> 01:37:34,081 - Well I shouldn't speak too soon. 1922 01:37:34,081 --> 01:37:36,481 When I grow up I want to be an astronaut 1923 01:37:36,481 --> 01:37:38,601 but if I can't be an astronaut 1924 01:37:38,601 --> 01:37:40,321 I think I'll be a coach driver. 1925 01:37:41,481 --> 01:37:42,481 This probably linked up with the fact now 1926 01:37:42,481 --> 01:37:44,241 that I want to travel I mean my thoughts 1927 01:37:44,241 --> 01:37:46,201 haven't really changed that much 1928 01:37:46,201 --> 01:37:47,761 but I definitely wouldn't like to be a coach driver now. 1929 01:37:50,801 --> 01:37:55,241 I suppose I would, yes, well I would like to be somebody 1930 01:37:55,241 --> 01:37:58,961 in a position of importance, I've always thought this 1931 01:37:58,961 --> 01:38:00,801 but I don't think I'm the right sort of person 1932 01:38:00,801 --> 01:38:03,041 to carry the responsibility for whatever it is. 1933 01:38:03,041 --> 01:38:07,521 I've always though well I'd love to be possibly love 1934 01:38:07,521 --> 01:38:11,041 to be in politics or something like this 1935 01:38:11,041 --> 01:38:14,801 but I'd probably find that just as tedious 1936 01:38:14,801 --> 01:38:17,961 as all the other jobs I've done so. 1937 01:38:19,521 --> 01:38:21,841 What were the things I always thought I could do. 1938 01:38:23,561 --> 01:38:27,321 I could give lectures on erudite subjects 1939 01:38:27,321 --> 01:38:31,841 that I'd read all about or I could work in the theatre, 1940 01:38:32,921 --> 01:38:37,761 perhaps lighting or directing a show. 1941 01:38:42,121 --> 01:38:43,241 - And is all that lost to you? 1942 01:38:43,241 --> 01:38:44,441 - Does seem to be yes. 1943 01:39:02,241 --> 01:39:06,441 - The village pantomime 1990 Beauty and the Beast. 1944 01:39:14,401 --> 01:39:15,801 - Matthew Matthew 1945 01:39:23,801 --> 01:39:25,761 Your house sir is needing some repairs. 1946 01:39:27,761 --> 01:39:29,161 I think the attendance at last years pantomime 1947 01:39:29,161 --> 01:39:32,001 on the Saturday night was the biggest crowd 1948 01:39:32,001 --> 01:39:35,041 of West of Shetland folk I'd ever seen in one place. 1949 01:39:35,041 --> 01:39:37,681 And you know and we think they enjoyed it. 1950 01:39:42,561 --> 01:39:45,201 We had good receptions in other parts of Shetland as well. 1951 01:39:45,201 --> 01:39:46,841 We did tour one play. 1952 01:39:46,841 --> 01:39:47,681 I think were moving 1953 01:39:47,681 --> 01:39:50,721 into an age when there's going to be more stress 1954 01:39:50,721 --> 01:39:51,961 on the community. 1955 01:39:51,961 --> 01:39:54,001 When bigger policies are fairly set, 1956 01:39:54,001 --> 01:39:56,881 are fairly predictable, and the emphasis 1957 01:39:56,881 --> 01:39:59,561 is gonna fall on local organisation. 1958 01:40:01,881 --> 01:40:03,561 - You directed it last year 1959 01:40:03,561 --> 01:40:05,441 and you're not this year why is that? 1960 01:40:07,081 --> 01:40:10,161 - Well the specific reason is that we had 1961 01:40:10,161 --> 01:40:12,401 a preliminary meeting and I was, my name was not 1962 01:40:12,401 --> 01:40:16,121 put forward as the one they wanted so. 1963 01:40:20,681 --> 01:40:22,001 - Why would that be? 1964 01:40:23,561 --> 01:40:26,881 - Probably because I like to do things in my own way 1965 01:40:26,881 --> 01:40:29,601 I'm perhaps quite an authoritative director 1966 01:40:29,601 --> 01:40:32,761 I have my own idea of the performance 1967 01:40:32,761 --> 01:40:35,201 before we even start and I don't like people 1968 01:40:35,201 --> 01:40:36,921 to deviate from that and during the course 1969 01:40:36,921 --> 01:40:39,081 of production of course people come along with suggestions. 1970 01:40:39,081 --> 01:40:41,321 No I accept suggestions, I don't just go along 1971 01:40:41,321 --> 01:40:43,881 without listening to people but I know how I want the thing 1972 01:40:43,881 --> 01:40:46,161 and once I deviate once from that idea, 1973 01:40:46,161 --> 01:40:47,601 the whole thing actually falls apart. 1974 01:40:47,601 --> 01:40:49,401 It's not a work of art any more. 1975 01:40:49,401 --> 01:40:51,641 I'm not claiming that I produce marvellous works of art 1976 01:40:51,641 --> 01:40:53,441 but I do know what I'm aiming for. 1977 01:40:54,361 --> 01:40:59,361 Alas poor master, still sleeping, shall I awaken him. 1978 01:41:00,881 --> 01:41:02,521 I think everybody wants to be somebody 1979 01:41:02,521 --> 01:41:03,921 and when you can't actually be anything 1980 01:41:03,921 --> 01:41:06,721 in your ordinary life if you feel there's a sphere 1981 01:41:06,721 --> 01:41:08,961 in which you can excel then it's great. 1982 01:41:08,961 --> 01:41:12,241 I mean I know how much pleasure people who take photographs 1983 01:41:12,241 --> 01:41:14,001 get when their work is praised 1984 01:41:14,001 --> 01:41:17,321 and that's perhaps it's much the same thing. 1985 01:41:18,321 --> 01:41:20,641 - We'll just taking take a quick look at your plan 1986 01:41:20,641 --> 01:41:21,641 and see how it stands. 1987 01:41:21,641 --> 01:41:24,201 - What I have done is taken lists of all the 1988 01:41:24,201 --> 01:41:26,881 community halls in Shetland with their capacity. 1989 01:41:26,881 --> 01:41:28,321 - Neil is trying to organise 1990 01:41:28,321 --> 01:41:30,481 a professional touring theatre company. 1991 01:41:30,481 --> 01:41:33,001 - If a hall only seats 60 people it may not 1992 01:41:33,001 --> 01:41:35,241 be worth putting on a show there. 1993 01:41:36,241 --> 01:41:37,201 - I mean what was your response at the fact 1994 01:41:37,201 --> 01:41:38,881 that only 4 folk turned up at the. 1995 01:41:40,201 --> 01:41:42,041 - Disappointment, it was disappointment. 1996 01:41:42,041 --> 01:41:44,561 I was disappointed but I think it proves the point 1997 01:41:44,561 --> 01:41:46,321 that I've been trying to make that you can't just 1998 01:41:46,321 --> 01:41:48,881 except people to turn up for a group from outside Shetland 1999 01:41:48,881 --> 01:41:50,481 when they don't know what the things about. 2000 01:41:54,161 --> 01:41:56,001 I've had an instinctive feeling that I was a writer 2001 01:41:56,001 --> 01:41:59,281 since I was 16, I never really wanted to be anything else. 2002 01:42:00,561 --> 01:42:02,241 I would actually pay to have something published. 2003 01:42:02,241 --> 01:42:04,481 I think that's important I think if I could find somebody 2004 01:42:04,481 --> 01:42:06,801 that would recognise, there must be something 2005 01:42:06,801 --> 01:42:07,641 in what I've done. 2006 01:42:07,641 --> 01:42:08,801 I don't think it's all useless. 2007 01:42:08,801 --> 01:42:11,561 I probably am overvaluing it but I know how much effort 2008 01:42:11,561 --> 01:42:14,721 went into some of it and on that strength alone 2009 01:42:14,721 --> 01:42:16,401 I just can't believe it's useless. 2010 01:42:17,521 --> 01:42:20,241 With each successive play I don't know who I'm trying 2011 01:42:20,241 --> 01:42:23,161 to speak to and what I'm trying to say to them 2012 01:42:23,161 --> 01:42:25,961 and whether they're listening I just keep going 2013 01:42:25,961 --> 01:42:28,241 because that's what I feel I should be doing. 2014 01:42:28,241 --> 01:42:30,561 In the winter, if you live in the country, 2015 01:42:30,561 --> 01:42:32,961 well it's just all wet and there wouldn't be anything 2016 01:42:32,961 --> 01:42:37,961 for miles around and you'd get soaked if you tried 2017 01:42:38,041 --> 01:42:41,001 to go out and there's no shelter anywhere except 2018 01:42:41,001 --> 01:42:42,521 in your own house. 2019 01:42:42,521 --> 01:42:44,041 But in the town you can go out 2020 01:42:44,041 --> 01:42:46,841 on wet wintry days cause you can always find somewhere 2021 01:42:46,841 --> 01:42:49,361 to shelter because there's lots of places. 2022 01:42:51,041 --> 01:42:53,521 I don't think I've been typical of the environment 2023 01:42:53,521 --> 01:42:54,561 in which I lived. 2024 01:42:54,561 --> 01:42:56,161 What my background has given me 2025 01:42:56,161 --> 01:43:01,161 is a sense of just being part of a very impersonal society. 2026 01:43:03,121 --> 01:43:05,441 You finish the week you come home you plug 2027 01:43:05,441 --> 01:43:07,081 into the TV set for the weekend 2028 01:43:07,081 --> 01:43:10,161 and then you manage to get back to work on Monday. 2029 01:43:10,161 --> 01:43:13,161 And it seems to me this is just a slow path 2030 01:43:13,161 --> 01:43:15,801 to total brain washing and if I you have 2031 01:43:15,801 --> 01:43:18,321 a brain washed society then you're heading towards 2032 01:43:18,321 --> 01:43:20,121 doom there's no question about that. 2033 01:43:21,401 --> 01:43:23,321 - Well it weren't too bad last night anyway. 2034 01:43:23,321 --> 01:43:26,121 - It was better than it's been for a while I think. 2035 01:43:26,121 --> 01:43:27,521 - There was enormous reaction to you in the 2036 01:43:27,521 --> 01:43:30,321 previous film what do people see in you do you think? 2037 01:43:31,321 --> 01:43:32,921 - It's seemed that I was representing some 2038 01:43:32,921 --> 01:43:36,321 kind of successful escapism or somebody 2039 01:43:36,321 --> 01:43:39,041 who'd managed to be totally himself, 2040 01:43:39,041 --> 01:43:41,961 hadn't given in to pressure of society 2041 01:43:41,961 --> 01:43:45,361 to conform and people flooded me with letters 2042 01:43:45,361 --> 01:43:46,201 and people seemed to think 2043 01:43:46,201 --> 01:43:48,001 I could solve their personal problems. 2044 01:43:48,001 --> 01:43:50,801 And I was quite frightened because I knew I couldn't 2045 01:43:50,801 --> 01:43:53,041 but what really bothered me was people seemed 2046 01:43:53,041 --> 01:43:56,201 to see something in me that I hadn't been aware of myself. 2047 01:43:56,201 --> 01:43:58,561 All I was aware of was that I didn't have anywhere to go, 2048 01:43:58,561 --> 01:44:01,281 I had nothing to do I'd no money, 2049 01:44:01,281 --> 01:44:03,921 I felt let down by quite a lot of people. 2050 01:44:03,921 --> 01:44:05,481 I didn't think my life was a success 2051 01:44:05,481 --> 01:44:07,321 but suddenly everybody seemed to think so 2052 01:44:07,321 --> 01:44:08,921 but the most nagging thing was that whatever, 2053 01:44:08,921 --> 01:44:10,601 even if a million people had written to me 2054 01:44:10,601 --> 01:44:12,881 it wouldn't have made any difference to my own situation. 2055 01:44:12,881 --> 01:44:15,801 When I get married I don't want to have any children 2056 01:44:16,841 --> 01:44:20,801 because they're always doing naughty things 2057 01:44:20,801 --> 01:44:24,321 and making the whole house untidy. 2058 01:44:24,321 --> 01:44:28,001 I always told myself that I would never have children. 2059 01:44:30,601 --> 01:44:32,081 - Why? 2060 01:44:32,081 --> 01:44:37,081 - Because, because, well because children inherit 2061 01:44:37,481 --> 01:44:39,281 something from their parents. 2062 01:44:39,281 --> 01:44:40,641 And even if my wife 2063 01:44:40,641 --> 01:44:44,241 were the most high spirited and ordinary 2064 01:44:44,241 --> 01:44:47,641 and normal of people the child would still stand 2065 01:44:47,641 --> 01:44:52,321 a very fair chance of being not totally full 2066 01:44:52,321 --> 01:44:54,641 of happiness because of what he 2067 01:44:54,641 --> 01:44:57,921 or she would've inherited from me. 2068 01:44:57,921 --> 01:44:59,601 - Have you given up on women? 2069 01:45:02,281 --> 01:45:07,001 - Well, what how shall we say, all but you know. 2070 01:45:07,001 --> 01:45:08,841 I mean there's always, everybody always, 2071 01:45:08,841 --> 01:45:12,081 every unmarried man and every unmarried woman hopes 2072 01:45:12,081 --> 01:45:14,401 for somebody who will actually come along 2073 01:45:14,401 --> 01:45:15,721 to change their life. 2074 01:45:15,721 --> 01:45:18,001 But the practical reality 2075 01:45:18,001 --> 01:45:19,961 is the chances of my finding somebody 2076 01:45:19,961 --> 01:45:24,961 who would put up with me in my integrity is are few. 2077 01:45:31,401 --> 01:45:33,921 - What would you look for in a woman? 2078 01:45:33,921 --> 01:45:35,481 - Well I might look for various things 2079 01:45:35,481 --> 01:45:36,641 but what's probably more important is 2080 01:45:36,641 --> 01:45:38,161 what somebody would look for in me. 2081 01:45:38,161 --> 01:45:40,001 I can't offer reliability. 2082 01:45:40,001 --> 01:45:41,961 I mean most women looking for a husband 2083 01:45:41,961 --> 01:45:44,761 or a steady man wants somebody 2084 01:45:44,761 --> 01:45:46,641 who is reliable in some way or other. 2085 01:45:46,641 --> 01:45:48,361 I cannot offer that. 2086 01:45:48,361 --> 01:45:49,201 Because I don't know what I'm going to be like 2087 01:45:49,201 --> 01:45:50,641 from one day to the other and it would be foolish for me 2088 01:45:50,641 --> 01:45:53,681 pretending you know that I could offer something like that. 2089 01:45:53,681 --> 01:45:57,561 I can offer sincerity, I can offer compassion, 2090 01:45:59,761 --> 01:46:04,761 willingness to do my part to put my wife's interests 2091 01:46:04,921 --> 01:46:08,721 as high as my own, no doubt these are, 2092 01:46:08,721 --> 01:46:09,961 I'm sure these are important. 2093 01:46:09,961 --> 01:46:12,321 But I cannot say look in 2094 01:46:12,321 --> 01:46:15,721 10 years time I'll still be bringing in a wage in, 2095 01:46:15,721 --> 01:46:19,641 especially if I don't start in that situation, you know. 2096 01:46:19,641 --> 01:46:21,801 - Do you worry about your sanity? 2097 01:46:25,161 --> 01:46:27,441 - Other people sometimes worry about it. 2098 01:46:28,961 --> 01:46:30,721 - Like who? 2099 01:46:34,241 --> 01:46:38,641 - As I said, I sometimes can be found behaving 2100 01:46:38,641 --> 01:46:43,041 in an erratic fashion, sometimes get very frustrated, 2101 01:46:43,041 --> 01:46:45,721 very angry for no apparent reason. 2102 01:46:45,721 --> 01:46:47,401 For a reason which won't be apparent 2103 01:46:47,401 --> 01:46:48,681 to other people around me. 2104 01:46:52,041 --> 01:46:53,401 It's happened from time to time. 2105 01:46:56,721 --> 01:46:57,961 - Are you getting better or worse 2106 01:46:57,961 --> 01:46:59,561 do you think your state? 2107 01:46:59,561 --> 01:47:02,201 - I don't think there's any significant change in me, 2108 01:47:03,041 --> 01:47:04,801 I said I haven't been so depressed 2109 01:47:04,801 --> 01:47:06,561 since I've been in Shetland, 2110 01:47:06,561 --> 01:47:09,241 I suppose my basic personality is not a lot different. 2111 01:47:10,241 --> 01:47:12,121 - Are you having any medical treatment 2112 01:47:12,121 --> 01:47:13,561 for your mood changes? 2113 01:47:13,561 --> 01:47:16,041 - No I haven't for many years because I wouldn't like 2114 01:47:16,041 --> 01:47:20,201 to be dependent upon man made substances for a cure. 2115 01:47:21,641 --> 01:47:23,641 - Do you ever think you're going mad? 2116 01:47:23,641 --> 01:47:26,481 - I don't think it I know it. 2117 01:47:26,481 --> 01:47:31,481 I, well we're not allowed to use the word mad 2118 01:47:33,641 --> 01:47:38,001 but you know, I think most people are mad here 2119 01:47:40,041 --> 01:47:41,641 but I think it's a mad world. 2120 01:47:41,641 --> 01:47:45,841 I think I remember walking in London 12 years ago 2121 01:47:45,841 --> 01:47:48,881 and just walking through the city 2122 01:47:48,881 --> 01:47:50,561 and they were digging up the drains 2123 01:47:50,561 --> 01:47:52,961 and there were cranes knocking down buildings 2124 01:47:52,961 --> 01:47:54,601 and there were cars trying to get down 2125 01:47:54,601 --> 01:47:57,841 impossible narrow alleys and having to reverse out again 2126 01:47:57,841 --> 01:48:00,601 and policemen doing all kinds of things 2127 01:48:00,601 --> 01:48:01,921 and I thought this world is just mad you know, 2128 01:48:01,921 --> 01:48:03,921 this world is just mad. 2129 01:48:03,921 --> 01:48:05,721 Yes I'd say I believed in God. 2130 01:48:05,721 --> 01:48:07,161 - Are you religious? 2131 01:48:08,441 --> 01:48:10,841 - Well I go to church with my parents on Sundays. 2132 01:48:11,801 --> 01:48:14,561 I don't know even know whether I do believe in God or not. 2133 01:48:14,561 --> 01:48:17,321 I thought an awful lot about it actually 2134 01:48:17,321 --> 01:48:20,481 and I still don't know but I still led to believe 2135 01:48:20,481 --> 01:48:21,561 that it was absolutely certain if one was 2136 01:48:21,561 --> 01:48:24,561 to survive in the world one had to believe in God. 2137 01:48:24,561 --> 01:48:26,481 - And how's he been treating you? 2138 01:48:27,641 --> 01:48:29,921 - Well I said to somebody last week 2139 01:48:29,921 --> 01:48:31,721 that I preferred the Old Testament 2140 01:48:31,721 --> 01:48:35,601 to the New Testament because in the Old Testament God 2141 01:48:35,601 --> 01:48:40,161 is very unpredictable and that's I think how 2142 01:48:40,161 --> 01:48:42,881 I see him in my life. 2143 01:48:42,881 --> 01:48:45,561 Sometimes very benevolent, 2144 01:48:45,561 --> 01:48:49,361 sometimes seemingly needlessly unkind. 2145 01:48:49,361 --> 01:48:52,841 Well after I'd tried every remedy one could possibly 2146 01:48:52,841 --> 01:48:55,961 think of for my personality disorders, 2147 01:48:57,161 --> 01:48:59,281 I thought well I'm going to trust God 2148 01:48:59,281 --> 01:49:02,201 because other people have done so seemingly 2149 01:49:02,201 --> 01:49:04,881 with positive results. 2150 01:49:04,881 --> 01:49:08,601 I can't say the moment I trusted God my life was fine 2151 01:49:08,601 --> 01:49:10,961 and I can't say all the time 2152 01:49:10,961 --> 01:49:14,881 that I think I've found the answer but I can say 2153 01:49:14,881 --> 01:49:17,161 with some certainty that once I started believing 2154 01:49:17,161 --> 01:49:21,961 that there is actually a God who has something of a design 2155 01:49:21,961 --> 01:49:24,841 for the world, who is working in a certain way in the world. 2156 01:49:24,841 --> 01:49:27,761 After that some things became clearer to me, 2157 01:49:28,801 --> 01:49:30,761 I really can't say much more than that. 2158 01:49:32,201 --> 01:49:35,601 - Coloured people we don't like them very much. 2159 01:49:35,601 --> 01:49:40,001 - No it sounds like ghostly coloured people, 2160 01:49:40,001 --> 01:49:42,041 you think of a sort of purple person 2161 01:49:42,041 --> 01:49:44,641 with red eyes and yellow feet 2162 01:49:44,641 --> 01:49:48,881 and you can't really think of what they really look like. 2163 01:49:50,001 --> 01:49:52,401 I find it hard to believe that I was ever like that 2164 01:49:52,401 --> 01:49:53,841 but there's the evidence. 2165 01:49:54,801 --> 01:49:57,521 Probably when I was seven I just lived in a wonderful world 2166 01:49:57,521 --> 01:49:59,161 where everything was all sensation 2167 01:49:59,161 --> 01:50:00,721 and them I could be happy like this, 2168 01:50:00,721 --> 01:50:02,721 I could be miserable the next one. 2169 01:50:06,281 --> 01:50:08,881 I don't have a yearning for any past time in my life. 2170 01:50:08,881 --> 01:50:10,961 Perhaps in my subconscious I could recall a time 2171 01:50:10,961 --> 01:50:12,601 when everything was a lot happier 2172 01:50:13,481 --> 01:50:15,921 my teens were terribly unhappy years. 2173 01:50:18,321 --> 01:50:19,801 - If we come back in 7 years 2174 01:50:19,801 --> 01:50:22,601 how would you like us to find you? 2175 01:50:24,281 --> 01:50:27,321 - In a job from which I was getting satisfaction, 2176 01:50:28,401 --> 01:50:35,601 married, probably with children, with a good salary. 2177 01:50:38,281 --> 01:50:41,241 Enough to as I said before to be able 2178 01:50:41,241 --> 01:50:44,961 to live fairly comfortably and with friends 2179 01:50:44,961 --> 01:50:48,001 who I could contact when I wanted them. 2180 01:50:48,921 --> 01:50:50,721 - So do you think you have failed? 2181 01:50:55,521 --> 01:50:56,561 - Can't really judge. 2182 01:51:00,041 --> 01:51:02,201 - Do you feel you've failed yourself? 2183 01:51:03,481 --> 01:51:04,801 - Well my life isn't over. 2184 01:51:11,201 --> 01:51:13,241 - Can you think what you'd like 2185 01:51:13,241 --> 01:51:16,761 to be doing in the year 2000? 2186 01:51:16,761 --> 01:51:18,801 - I can think of all kinds of things I'd like to be doing. 2187 01:51:18,801 --> 01:51:23,161 The real question is what am I likely to be doing? 2188 01:51:29,081 --> 01:51:31,441 - What are you likely to be doing? 2189 01:51:31,441 --> 01:51:32,881 - That's a horrible question. 2190 01:51:34,481 --> 01:51:37,401 I tend to think most likely the answer is 2191 01:51:37,401 --> 01:51:39,281 I will be wandering homeless around the streets 2192 01:51:39,281 --> 01:51:42,641 of London but with a bit of luck that won't happen. 2193 01:51:46,841 --> 01:51:50,081 I always feel that somehow a good fairy has waved 2194 01:51:50,081 --> 01:51:52,361 a wand over me and saved me from that because 2195 01:51:52,361 --> 01:51:55,721 that seemed very much what the end would be for a while. 2196 01:51:55,721 --> 01:51:59,801 That's why I cling on here, I know how tempting it is 2197 01:51:59,801 --> 01:52:02,441 to escape into fantasies, to believe 2198 01:52:02,441 --> 01:52:04,721 that I already am a successful writer. 2199 01:52:04,721 --> 01:52:07,121 To believe that I've got lots of friends, 2200 01:52:07,121 --> 01:52:09,441 to believe that if only I had done such and such my life, 2201 01:52:09,441 --> 01:52:11,761 would've been different but I mean the most difficult thing 2202 01:52:11,761 --> 01:52:15,761 is to accept the reality, to be what we are in a situation. 2203 01:52:16,761 --> 01:52:17,681 That's terribly difficult. 2204 01:52:26,401 --> 01:52:27,681 - No not intentionally. 2205 01:52:27,681 --> 01:52:31,361 - I must you, I'm a moustache fellow, a beard. 2206 01:52:39,041 --> 01:52:40,961 - At the end of their very special day 2207 01:52:40,961 --> 01:52:45,281 in London after their trip to the zoo and the party. 2208 01:52:45,281 --> 01:52:48,321 We took our children to an adventure playground 2209 01:52:48,321 --> 01:52:50,361 where they could do just what they liked. 2210 01:52:53,161 --> 01:52:56,441 Those from the children's home set about building a house. 2211 01:53:01,121 --> 01:53:02,041 There's Nicholas. 2212 01:53:09,241 --> 01:53:14,241 And Tony. 2213 01:53:17,281 --> 01:53:18,121 Andrew. 2214 01:53:23,721 --> 01:53:24,561 And Bruce 2215 01:53:30,961 --> 01:53:31,801 John. 2216 01:53:39,361 --> 01:53:40,201 Suzi. 2217 01:53:48,321 --> 01:53:50,201 Jackie and her friends. 2218 01:53:56,121 --> 01:53:58,961 Give me a child until he is seven 2219 01:53:58,961 --> 01:54:00,441 and I will give you the man. 2220 01:54:09,841 --> 01:54:13,001 This has been a glimpse of Britain's future.